#i'll get around to it (i say knowing full well this cycle will continue)

[criiitter]

i apologize to anyone who has sent me an ask and received no response i am always like "i will wait until i have the right words to respond to this!!!" and then i forget for the rest of eternity. please forgive me. even now i stare at my inbox as though it is the barrel of a gun

[jifloulette]

just with you around, i'll do it . . .

the things blue lock men will and try to do whenever the two of you are the only ones around !

who . . ? i. rin, n. seishiro, y. kenyu heads up . . ! rin's one feels a bit suggestive but i swear it's all romantic, established relationship, just fluff *does a cartwheel* (may be a two part typa shit i dunno)

જ ｡˚ itoshi rin absolutely loves peppering your face with kisses (but will he ever admit it? nope)

it's what he yearns for after an intense and long day of passing and shooting. rin may be tired after all that vigorous, tiring training but he will always have enough energy stored just for this. he'll never ever get too tired just to make sure you know how much he loves you!

he doesn't even know how he got into the idea of just having to smother your oh so beautiful face with kisses! but he can't help it because he literally found out how clingy and touch starved he gets the second you introduced him to this profound feeling. he just needs it every single day, it almost becomes something he looks forward to the second he wakes up. it relieves rin when he knows that you enjoy him peppering your face up, you won't see it on his face externally but inside? he's basically doing backflips and summersaults when you squeal to his proposal! this sweet activity becomes a routine for the two of you. rin make sures that his schedule is free for the rest of the night while you do the same. you make sure to bring snacks too! it's mostly your favorites but he doesn't really mind because he'd grown to enjoy munching on them with you as well. then, rin would put on music that two of you both like in the background. the two of you would snuggle up with each other comfortably on either the couch or bed, excited for your boyfriend to start smothering your face up with pecks all over your beaming face. you swear you could see hearts in rin's eyes the second he kisses you, though you could never tease that to him about him, he'll just probably get flustered and get too shy to continue. The first spot on your face rin kisses would be your lips, he says it's the most appropriate part to kiss first but really, all he wants is to taste your sweet, strawberry lipgloss on his own lips. then, he'd go all the way up to your forehead, only initiating it when you break the first kiss. rin wants what's best for you, he wants to make you feel like you're the only one for him even if it doesn't really look like it. when he kisses your forehead, he holds you close to him, needing for you to feel as close as he does. then, rin kisses the spot next to your eyes, the one close to your temples. he really only does it just to see the glimmer in your eyes, he adores seeing you so lovestruck. rin follows it up with a peck on your cheek, nose, and jaw. then once all those three are done, the cycle repeats, kiss on the lips -> forehead -> beside your eye -> cheeks -> nose -> jaw! usually, rin stays quiet during these tender moments. you could see in his eyes how focused he is in just making sure you feel so loved and cared for! rin wasn't the verbal lover, you couldn't always hear him say he loves you but his actions will say otherwise. you don't always ask for reassurance and affirmations for him because he'll do it in his own way! either by helping you pick clothes to wear on a date, giving you the bigger half of his snacks, and his personal favorite, this, smooching you all up with his kisses! in the rare moments he does say something in this routine, he would say one of the most endearing arrangement of words. full of words even you didn't understand! but when you ask him to speak up, rin's already shutting you up with another kiss on the lips!

rin really is in love with you a lot, he wouldn't trade moments like this with the one person he adores and cherishes most for the world. oh, his assistant just chatted him? who careeess, all he's focused on right now is you and only you.

જ ｡˚ nagi seishiro will always wake up early before you just to try and cook you breakfast (it's always a 50/50 chance of having burnt pancakes though)

nagi's never felt like this to anyone to be honest, he always thought it was a hassle to wake up so so early, especially in the weekends! but for you? he's somehow trying his best to wake up before you. he treats it as a challenge, a race of some sort. he wants to try and cook you some breakfast just so he could see your smile beam up and your eyes lighten when he brings the tray inside your shared bedroom. the first time he did it, he really just woke himself up due to hunger. normally he'd go back to sleep, snuggle himself up close to you buuut this time was different. he was craving pancakes! nagi got the motivation because he wanted to try something different for once. sooo, he got up and drank some water from the bedside table before going to the kitchen. he just went through the pantry for some boxed pancake mix before following the instructions on the box, getting a pan and cooking it. he was honestly proud of himself, he had managed to cook 6 pancakes, only having one of them burnt! so he ate two of them because he wanted you to get most of it, he plated your pancakes as pretty as he could. stacking them up, getting frozen blueberries and put them on it, drizzled some syrup and before he knew it, it was already what, 7 am?? he had just finished in time because the second he went inside your shared bedroom, you were grabbing your glasses. it took a few seconds before you could see the surprising sight in front of you. because firstly, the nagi seishiro waking up before you?! second, the nagi seishiro cooked you breakfast for the first time?! it was a sight to see really, usually you would be the one to cook breakfast for the two of you. nagi never really minded that, the same went for you. i mean, having to wake your boyfriend up with a kiss to tell him breakfast was ready is one of the things you genuinely loved doing every now and then. you give nagi a quick peck on the cheek as your way of giving thanks before he asks you if he could go to sleep again. you agreed of course! your big baby of a boyfriend already did so much this morning, you ate your pancakes in silence while admiring the scene of nagi already fast asleep beside you.

the second time nagi did this, it was totally on purpose! you had told him that you loved his pancakes so that became his entire motivation to start this in the first place! he couldn't stop waking up at night, he really wanted to make you breakfast in bed. it was the fifth time he woke up that early morning when he finally got up to cook breakfast. all was going well.. until he had fallen asleep for a quick 10 minutes on the counter.. he hadn't even noticed the burning happening when he heard the fire alarm go off! he was flabbergasted, he really wanted to make these pancakes as amazing as the last ones. so he just threw the burnt one away, and plated your pancakes the same as before. except, it looked rushed, i mean he did just burn the last one and made a huge mess so i guess it was bound to happen? unfortunately for nagi, you had woken up due to both the fire alarm and the smell of something burning! your boyfriend saw you and quickly pushed you back to the bedroom, picking you up bridal style before telling you to wait for him. you had kind of figure him out by now, so when nagi went inside the room, you were already so cheery! giving him another quick peck on the cheek and eating the food immediately. you thought he would've asked if he could go back to sleep but no, he just kneeled in front of you and stuck his tongue out like a dog. pointing to his mouth, clearly wanting some of the pancakes he made. and as the good partner you are, you obviously gave him some. nagi nodded as a way to give thanks as you gave him a few pats on his head. now recently, you had been seeing a looot more boxed pancake mix in the pantry, knowing your boyfriend, you were really going to look forward to when he was going to make breakfast for you again! you thought he was going to only do it on the weekends? nahh, he's doing it every day he gets!!

this was a routine that you and nagi were always going to be looking forward to, not just to be able to taste his pancakes but to spend time with him. besides, he doesn't really care if it ruins his "sleep schedule", all he wants is to see you smile and make you spoon feed him!

જ ｡˚ yukimiya kenyu always sings the two of you to sleep every night (don't tell him how much you love because he'll melt)

kenyu has a lot of talents and passions, soccer and modeling being two of the ones he was really proud of. but unbeknownst, singing was the third on the list! he never really knew when he started to love singing, it just happened. he did know that it all started with you on a random tuesday night. you had randomly asked him to sing you to slumberland. it was rather an odd request but he did it nonetheless, you were the one asking after all, no way was he going to deny something you wanted. he questioned you on what song he should sing, you thought for a few seconds and answered, kenyu should sing "i think they call this love" his eyes lit up, he loved that song! he dedicated that song to you on his first listen, it was his top song on wrapped too (he has a playlist heavily dedicated to you because ugh he is so head over heels for you.) he zoned out for a bit, he was nervous..? he was scared to what you were going to think of his singing voice. he felt tense, you felt it as well. you reminded him that it's alright if he doesn't want to do it, you wouldn't mind it. but suddenly he started singing

♫ all i dream of is your eyes, all i long for is your touchand darling, something tells me that's enough ♫

when you said you were surprised was an understatement, you were beyond shocked because of your boyfriend's amazing singing voice! no words could describe how amazing he sounded, it was ineffable. the first lyric of the chorus kenyu sang already made you feel so sleepy, how dare he hide this amazing talent of his from his s/o?! but you were too astonished to say anything, the way his voice hit your ears so tenderly, so full of love, it was enough for you to just lay on his chest quietly, listening to the angel-like voice of your boyfriend. you were trying your best to battle the sudden closing of your eyelids, you wanted to listen to kenyu sing more. it was so perfect, "how could someone be so perfect?" was the only thing in your mind during this moment. you could tell that kenyu genuinely had fun singing, it was in his tone and the way he was caressing your hair while he was doing so. you were rubbing circles with your thumb on his other hand, implying that you were enjoying his singing.

♫ you can say that I'm a fool and i don't know very much but i think they call this love ♫

it was when kenyu sang this part of the song that you were snuggling up closer to him, a sign that to your boyfriend that you were about close your eyes and dream your way to tomorrow's sunrise. though you were about to fall asleep, he never stopped singing. he was proud of himself that he had managed to make doze off with his voice! he never really thought that he had a good singing voice, he had sung before, but it was when he was younger; in his school choirs, talent shows in middle school, and in front of his parents. he continued to sing himself to sleep, until every ounce of energy he had in his body was gone. it was right before the second chorus of the song that he took off his glasses, closed the lamp, and gave you a sweet goodnight kiss that kenyu too snoozed away. the following night, you once again asked if he could sing you to sleep again. it didn't take much asking though because he already said yes even before you could ask the full question. this time, you wanted him to sing keshi's "understand", another song you knew he loved. his eyes lit up once again, this time with a beaming smile plastered on his gorgeous face. he sang with his honey-like voice again, making you sleep a few minutes after to which he soon followed as well. this became a part of your shared night routine with each other! wearing matching pj's -> brushing your teeth -> doing each other's skincare -> cuddling with each other on bed -> kenyu singing you to sleep. the two of you even made a playlist on spotify on what song he should lull you with each night, it consisted of laufey, wave to earth, keshi, and much much more.

now because of you, he finally grows to love singing. hell, he could even sing as a career too! though he might never singing in front of a huge crowd, not even in front of his own parents, he will only sing in front and for you because kenyu knows you love it, and it makes him love it too! this side of him is only for you to see and for you to hear

note ; this was a request!! this was rotting in my drafts for a while so argh i needed to post it before i get so busy with school </3

©🇯​​🇮​​🇫​​🇱​​🇴​​🇺​​🇱​​🇪​​🇹​​🇹​​🇪​, do not steal, translate, or repost any of my writings anywhere else.

[venusentranced]

GAME OVER

˖˙⟡ jungwon is mischievous and likes to make fun of you in front of your friends, but he'll never complain when you put him in his place. ⟢ genre/warnings: established relationship! f!dom!reader & sub!jungwon, sadomasochism, mild impact play, a bit of degradation and a lot of praise, edging & overstimulation as well as ruined orgasms, cumming untouched, use of a vibrator (jungwon receiving), hand job (m!receiving), oral (f!receiving), jungwon cries, use of "miss" and "ma'am" as titles as well as use "noona," after care! word count: aprox. 2.1k ‧₊˚ ┊i got two requests for punishing jungwon (1, 2, thank you both) so i combined them to created a more flushed out and compete fic instead of just drabbles, i hope you enjoy! this is proofread but pretty loosely <3

the living room erupts with a mixture of cheers and groans, the endless rotation of passing controllers around in a pass-and-play fashion as the large group cycles through playing against each other in mario kart. "you're terrible at this!" jungwon shouts, pushing you to the side as he gloats in his victory over you. "she's so bad at this!" the group laughs, light taps being placed on you as they share in the delight of your loss. you roll your eyes at your boyfriend, passing the controller along to someone else; your phone sits on your knee as you begin to tap through it in order to pass the time. "looking up how to play?" his voice full of a teasing tone, you pay him no mind and continue on with what you're doing. jungwon continues to poke fun at you for losing the round, only made worse when you lose again to jay instead. "maybe you are bad." jay joins in the fun of pulling your leg, and as the game night comes to a close, your patience wears thin with jungwon. the constant mockery of your ability to play whatever is on is nearing your last nerve; you're bad at mario kart. "do you spend all your free time playing this?" you're too good at mortal kombat. you take ahold of his arm and bring his ear close to you, "act right." you whisper, your tone clearly irritated, and in response, he mumbles out a short "sorry."

the bedroom is lit by the lamps on either side of the space, bathing your stature in a warm hue. "sorry doesn't cut it." your arms are folded over your chest as you stare down at the boy before you, his hands folded into his lap, and he doesn't retaliate against you. "i'm sorry, noona." he repeats, "you're going to prove you're sorry after you've learned your lesson." jungwon nods complacently to your demands; he'll do anything to prove he's sorry, even though you both know he'll do it again and you'll be right back here. you place your hand against his cheek, rubbing your thumb against his skin; he leans into your palm before you strike it against his face. "what do you say?" he blinks up at you, "yes, ma'am."

his body is flush against the mattress as you loom over him, your hair dangles in his face, and his breath is ragged. there's a quiet buzzing sound echoing throughout the room; the black silicone bullet is pressed harshly against his tip. the way you're looking at him makes him dizzy; he can handle the vibrator, but your sharp glare is what's making this hard. a choked moan leaves his mouth; his arms are held above his head—they're unbound, but they stay in place to show his obedience, his palms open and close on each other in an attempt to keep himself together. you leave a slap on his thigh when he starts to squirm, leading him to whimper, "you're so pathetic." and to that he whines. "you get off on me being mean to you, act out just so i'll be rough with you; you're not slick." he shakes his head fervently. "no, i promise." another slap lands on his thigh. "mm-mm.. i'm good; i'll be good." you slowly trail the bullet down and back up his length, "i'm sure you will." you tease.

jungwon is wet. he's leaking from his tip, managing to run all along his shaft and all across his tip. he doesn't know what's more arousing, the vibrator against him or the red handprints that litter his thighs. "i'm gonna cum." his voice is very quiet, almost as if he doesn't want you to hear him so he can get away with it. you remove the toy from him and watch as his face falls and his eyes screw shut at the loss of feeling. he doesn't say a word; he just waits for it to pass. you grab ahold of his face, "use your manners." your voice is laced with faux spite, but it works every time. pushing his face away and returning to tease him with the vibrations, immediately jungwon lets out a moan at the sensation. he always sounded so good when he was edged, brought close to the edge just to be brought away from it. he says something entirely incoherent, taking his hands from above him to wipe the sweat from his face and move his hair from his face.

jungwon is hot. his body is flushed a pale red; he wants to come so badly, but he knows he has to earn it first. "i'm close..." he warns, watching you intently as you stay perfectly still. "please," he begins. you say nothing, continuing to hold eye contact, and his face starts to slowly fall into an "o" shape as he rapidly approaches climax. right before he can dip off into bliss, you rip him back to reality. "i'm a good boy..." his eyes fill with tears that spill over almost as soon as they appear. "i'm sorry, miss." the pathetic cries that come out of him really show how sorry he is. unfortunately though, you're not done. "it's okay, baby," you soothe, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "i'll let you cum." his face lights up despite the tears that continue to roll down his cheeks; deep down, jungwon knows it's not that easy, but he can't think straight.

you use your hand instead, making your way up and down, a tight grip on his dick, and he can't wait to be told to cum. he's still crying, but the whimpers and moans drown out the faint cries. "please, can i cum?" he finally asks, "not yet, just hold on a little longer." your voice is so soft and smooth, it sounds like silk. jungwon nods and presses his head harder against the bed, closing his eyes to focus on anything and everything but the way your hand feels. the lewd sound of you stroking him with his own arousal is entirely distracting, but he keeps trying anyway. you squeeze harder and move a little fast, twisting your wrist as you go, and it doesn't take long before he really can't hold it. "please, i'm so close." you hum to him, allowing him to hit the rush of his orgasm, and at the first sign it was beginning, you tore your hand away. the sound he made was a mix of pleasure and complete disappointment, white streaks covering his torso and pouring down his head to pool on the skin below. he knows he deserves to have it ruined, but that doesn't mean he wanted it. his eyes spill tears. "you're doing such a good job," you tell him, pressing a kiss into his temple right as you take ahold of him again.

there's no missing the way he gasped; you would've thought he took in all the air the room had. you waste no time spreading his cum against him and begin to stroke him once again; closed-mouthed whimpers escape jungwon. it hurts, but he likes it; he likes the dull ache that runs through him when you torture him. "noona..." a whine rips through him. "hm?" he shakes his head, whispering out a rushed "nothing." the slick sound of your hand moving up and down mixed with jungwon's hushed writhing creates a pornographic scene. amidst the noise, you hear a faint fic as tears continue to run down his face; you wordlessly wipe his tears and place a chaste kiss against his lips. the pleasure of your fingertips makes jungwon feel fuzzy; he mewls aimlessly in an attempt to hold onto at least some sense of composure. he wants to please you.

"i'm going to cum," he murmurs, reaching out to take ahold of your wrist. his grip is weak, and it seems more like he's just trying to get more contact with you than anything else. "you can cum, love." your pace quickens, and the boy beneath you lets out a broken moan, his hand falling off you almost immediately. you push him through his orgasm; it's much weaker than it would usually be, but there is only ruining his previous orgasm to blame for that. tiny white beads dribble out of him, and the sounds he makes are obviously pained. "you did a good job, wonie, took your punishment well." you praised, kissing across his face to help soothe him. "thank you," he's so out of breath from crying, but he soaks up your affection like it's the sun. "do you have the energy to apologize to me?" jungwon nods quickly; he may be tired, but he's never too tired to return the favor of pleasure. "yes, please..."

your leg is careless placed atop his shoulder, your hands haphazardly tangled in his hair, and head is positioned perfectly between your thighs. he takes time and care to lick a wide strip up your entrance and attach his lips to your clit; a pleased sigh leaves you at the feeling. one of his hands wraps around your thigh with a loose grip, his mouth gently sucking at you, and tiny muffled hums vibrate against you. if you didn't know any better, you'd think jungwon gets more pleasure out of eating you out than you do. his tongue dips down to taste you shortly, his free hand snaking its way up to use both his hands and mouth. you pull on his hair roughly when you feel his finger push inside you; a stifled groan comes out of you but is quickly overtaken by an airy moan. "good boy," your praise is always appreciated and well received by him; his finger moves deftly while he laps messily at you; many people may find his messiness displeasing, but you find his eagerness all the more arousing. you're wet; if he wasn't licking you up and down, it would have created a wet patch on your sheets.

he looks up at you with a glimmer of excitement. the more you pull and tug at his hair, the sporadic moans and occasional whines fuel his need and desire to please you further. "am i doing good?" his break from sucking on you like candy is extremely short, but you could never be mad at him for seeking the praise he so desperately wants. "yes, keep going." your short response is not enough, so he adds another finger in retaliation. "just like that." although he has the inclination to go faster when you say that, he knows it's better to follow your guidance. the sinking feeling in your stomach is growing heavier by the moment, "be good, make me cum." your voice is quiet from the pleasure. there's a slight stop in his movements followed by a whine; before you can move to find out what happened, you're thrown back into the pit of pleasure by jungwon resuming as if nothing happened. he's quick to rebuild any of the tension you lost in the few seconds he was inattentive, and very soon after, the pressure built enough to snap. you yelp in surprise as the feeling overwhelms you, and you pull jungwon's hair so hard he's afraid you'll pull it out. "i came again... sorry." your laugh is simply a puff of air, and you pat his head in reassurance.

the rag is warm as it passes over jungwon's skin, beginning at his face to wipe off the remnants of your orgasm and sliding down his stomach and groin to clean off the dried mess he created on himself. "i love you, jungwon." your lips are fleeting against his, discarding the cloth to the dirty clothes. the bright smile you've always adored decorates his face; he pulls you into a hug with an "i love you too." you rub your finger against the nape of his neck, slowly pulling him back down to the mattress. your embrace is his favorite thing, the way you caress his head and face while he rests against your chest to the sound of your heartbeat. he's exhausted, teetering on the verge of sleep after the events of the night. "tired, my love?" your question is born out of your hidden plan to wash the sheets before bed. "yeah... beating you at almost every game is hard work." his teasing will never end; he will never learn his lesson. "you never learn." your proclamation is met with a shake of his head, "no i learned not to say that around others." as much as you'd love to argue with him, he is right, and the way his voice drags with sleep tells you he doesn't have the energy to put up any more of a fight. "i love you, noona." jungwon's words make you hold him a little tighter and your heart flutter a little more.

[halucynator]

YOU COULD'VE DIED!

So I had this request and I totally forgot about it and I'm so so so so so so so sorry lol

Pairing: Theodore Nott x fem!reader

Warnings: mentions of weight, anxiety attacks, eating disorder, reader has adhd, not proof read and my writing lol

Request: So the reader a long time ago like when she was eighth/9ish used to be on the bigger side before her adhd meds and then got really skinny and stuff and timeskip to sixth year her meds don’t really work aswelll so she starts getting an appetite that was usually suppressed and she quit quidditch last year because of stress and her biggest fear is secretly getting fat again and she starts to have so much anxiety about it

WARNING: I am in no way shaming any one in this text. You are beautiful the way you are. I'm just adhering to the request. I do not agree with anything horrible about weight or anything else you can think of that is in this text.

I'm also really really sorry if you go through eating disorders or something similar to what's mentioned in this text x stay strong xx you're not alone 💕

Most people have nightmares about psycho killers in white masks with a knife who are really crazily into fictional movies they try to make it reality. Most people have nightmares about falling from really high cliffs with jagged edges that could rip you in half quicker than the speed of the platform 9¾'s train. Most people have nightmares about burning in fires that could kill you probably faster than the Dursleys burnt Harry's hogwarts letters.

But not you. You had nightmares about gaining weight. About being the girl that you were when you were nine. You hated your ADHD but oh those adhd meds really helped you to stop being the obese person you were. You were disgusted by your younger self even though you shouldn't have been.

You sat in the Great Hall processing your nightmare. You knew you had a normal weight, probably even lower than healthy. And yet you looked around at all those pretty girls with effortless hourglass bodies and wished you could look like them. You knew you had a normal weight and yet your dreams, or perhaps nightmares, kept on taunting you about it.

Those thoughts clouded your mind. Filled your head. Over and over. And over. Until you felt like starving yourself. And you'd do that until you fainted and realised it's really unhealthy. But then it'd be too late and this vicious cycle continued until you felt like you couldn't do it anymore. Until you were sick of being yourself. Until you wished you were anyone but yourself. Until y-

"Hey y/n!" Theo greeted you as he entered the Great Hall. He was the first one there. After you of course. He grabbed a vanilla cupcake with strawberry icing and sprinkles for himself and a chocolate cupcake with chocolate icing for you.

"here I got you a chocolate cupcake with chocolate icing. Your favourite." Theo smiled as he passed it on to you.

Even though your heart wanted to accept it, your brain knew better.

"no I'm fine, really! Thanks so much though! I'm full" you replied. as if to reprimand you, your stomach rumbled.

"your stomach disagrees" he chuckled. "go on have it it's fine it's just a cupcake"

You knew he was trying to be a good friend. You knew he was looking out for you at yet it was so hard for you to suppress the urge to scream "just a cupcake? JUST A CUPCAKE?! well, I'll have you know that cupcake contains sugar and butter which stores in your body as fat so you wouldn't even suggest it unless you hated me" you obviously didn't say it out loud. You knew you were overreacting in your head.

"erm no thanks." You politely turned the offer of the cupcake down.

"Ya sure?" He asked one last time.

"yup." You replied.

"alright suit yourself" Blaise said as he leaned across the table to get the cupcake from your side.

You didn't have dinner that night and the couple of nights after either. You knew you should've. But you were so insecure about your weight you just couldn't. So you didn't. And you should've. You really should've.

Unfortunately for you, you realised that too late.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡*:☆

You woke up on a white bed. Where were you? You glanced around. There was no way. You were in a hospital bed. After Theo explained it to you, you realised what had happened. On your way to the dorm you had fainted due to the lack of food. You had no energy left in your body and it finally gave out. Theo had realised you had fainted and had carried you to the Madam Pomfrey's. He looked strangely cross at you.

"T-thanks" you replied to him.

"for what?" He said. "I couldn't save you."

"you kinda did" you said smiling at him.

He pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to you. It was a cookie.

Before you could say no, he cut you off.

"you are eating this cookie right now or I will never forgive myself for letting you starve yourself."

You reluctantly grabbed the cookie.

"you didn't make me starve myself. I did it to myself. It's not your fault." You replied as you broke a piece off the cookie.

"but why?" He asked.

"sorry?"

"why did you starve yourself"

"erm i well i had a nightmare I was gaining weight and I thought I was I had gained half a kilogram since last year and I just thought I'd look ugly and I just didn't want to not be liked by anyone!" there it was. The word vomit. The bundle of feelings inside of you all out to the one person you thought would be disgusted by you if you ever gained weight. The one person you loved.

"Woah! Slow down. No matter how many kilograms you put in you'll never be fat or ugly! I can't believe you let a nightmare lead you on! You can't have an unhealthy relationship with food!" He exclaimed.

"you're just saying that."

"I'm not just saying that. I mean it y/n. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I fell in love with you and a couple kilograms isn't gonna change that." He replied.

"Aw- wait you what?!" You asked realising what he just said.

"I thought it was obvious? I love you y/n. I always have" Theo said. "but I'm still cross at you for not eating food."

"ok ok I'm sorry." You replied.

"YOU COULD'VE DIED!" Pansy exclaimed bursting into the room.

"Jesus Christ Pansy! You almost gave me a heart attack!" You said shocked at her entrance.

But you knew her words were right. And so were Theo's. From that moment you tried to prevent yourself from starving yourself and with the support of Theo and all your friends it was that much more easy.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡*:☆

A/n: the ending kinda sucks lol sorry for the lateness of this x hope you liked it!!

Taglist: @m3ntallyunstable34 lmk if you want to be added to my taglist (through asks or you can message me x I'll always respond ❤️)

[mybutcheredtongue]

I'll Love You 'til the Grass Around My Gravestone is Deceased

Harry Potter timeline Sirius Black x fem!reader

CHAPTER TWO (see full series list here)

"'Sup, Moony."

You step into the tiny cottage Remus Lupin inhabits, smiling at him.

"Hello."

There's a keen scent of lavender in the home. Remus has always kept the place well and tidy. His tidiness has always been something you've envied. However, you know well that there's a small basement locked away beneath the cottage that's considerably less tidy, because werewolf Remus is not as orderly as normal Remus.

It'll be a few weeks until his next transformation. You've always made sure to plan your days together around the cycle. Sometimes you wish people would make their plans around your cycle too, but that's besides the point.

"Ready?" You ask and he nods, smoothing down the front of his sweater, picking at a small ball that had formed on it.

"Yes, let me just grab some change, I'll be right back," he says, skipping off to another room.

You sigh gently, studying a photo on the wall. It was a photo James had took of yourself and Remus, sitting on the common room couch reading a book together, and then promptly getting into an argument because Remus flipped the page too fast for you. You're both in fits of laughter.

Remus returns, coins jingling in the pocket of his trousers and you turn back, smiling. "Where'd you get that photo? It wasn't here last time."

"Found it in one of my old textbooks," he replies.

You give him an amused but skeptical look. "What were you doing looking through your old textbooks?"

"Just a bit of light reading."

You snort, placing your hand on the back of his shoulder blade and gently pushing him through the door. "Light reading."

⁠✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。

"How are you?" Remus asks as the two of you sit down at a small, circular table in a quaint cafe not far from his cottage.

For such a small cafe, it's quite busy. Small groups chat around the tables, cutlery clinking against plates and the cash register rattling every once in a while.

You shrug your satchel off your shoulder, dropping it to the ground with a gentle thud. "Yeah, I'm alright. How 'bout you?"

A waiter wanders up to your table, flipping open his small notebook and nodding at the two of you. "Now, what can I get for you?"

"A pot of tea for me, please," you say.

"Can you get me a cup too? And, uh, some chocolate."

The waiter nods and hurries off, leaving you to level with Remus' awaiting eyes. He doesn't say anything and you widen yours in question.

"What, Moony? You look like you're dying to say something."

Remus raises his eyebrows at you. He says your name gently. "Talking helps. You know that."

You sigh, drumming your fingers on the table, looking away. "Yeah, alright, fine. Can't say I'm doing all that well."

Remus says nothing, silently imploring you to continue.

"It's just...Harry, he's...it's just hard to...I don't..."

"I know."

You swallow hard. "Spittin' image, the spittin' fucking image of him. I'm almost half expecting Harry to turn around and tell me to 'go shag Sirius'."

You laugh dryly. The humour is lost on you when your mind thinks of Sirius.

Remus chuckles gently, if not with an added tension to his jaw. You're aware of his feelings on the matter. Remus doesn't hold the same confidence in Sirius that you do, he's always stipulated that he would need hard evidence ro prove his innocence before he believes it.

Any mention of Sirius tends to remind Remus of what he considers to be 'bad believing'. He thinks it's bad for your health to not move on.

He's probably right.

"Yes, well, that was one of James's favourite phrases."

"And — and — that troll I mentioned? Yeah, Harry defeated it. Along with the help of two friends, of course..." a smile lifts your face. "He's got a good heart. As good as his parents. I'm glad the Dursleys didn't take that away from him."

The waiter arrives down with your pot of tea, the porcelain clanking as he places it on the table. You smile and utter your thanks and he hurries off again.

"It's just tough, you know? I mean, my own godson, and I can't even talk to him properly?" You say. "I know Dumbledore's right, his judgement is always right, but still..."

"I would feel the exact same if I were in your place. He is, after all, the closest thing we could have to James and Lily." Remus takes a sip from his tea, wincing, before glancing around himself at the muggles sitting around you.

He pulls the cup down beneath the table and secretively pulls out his wand, muttering a quiet spell under his breath to cool it. He sips again, nodding. "I miss them too. The autumn and winter months tend to be the hardest."

There's a small silence between the two of you and you sigh, stretching your arms out behind your head. "Look, enough about all that. How's the job hunt going?"

Remus groans. "Horrendous."

You bring your cup to your mouth, eyeing him over the rim. "Hogwarts is always looking, you know. I'm sure Dumbledore'd be happy to take you on."

He raises his eyebrows unenthusiastically at you. "And what could I possibly teach?"

"Anything! You're a smart bloke, y'know," you reply. "Charms? You've always been great at that!"

Remus shakes his head in amusement.

"I'm being serious, you know! You'd be a great teacher. Ooh, maybe you could even be my assistant!"

Remus chuckles. "That would be torturous."

"Oh, shut up," you scoff, laughing. "Seriously though, consider it. You'd be brilliant. And I'd actually have someone my own age at work."

"It can't be that bad."

"It is! Severus is the only one, and we both know how much he hates me," you tell him. "I mean, everyone's lovely and all, and I do occasionally have tea with McGonagall, but she was my teacher! Can't fully relax around her, if I'm honest. And Dumbledore can be a bit barmy at times."

"Barmy?"

"Just a bit. Tends to get a bit distracted during conversations."

Remus just laughs, and you feel certain worries lift from your shoulders.

He's right.

Talking does help.

✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。

Later, you and Remus part ways. He walks down the road towards his cottage and you spin on your heel, checking the street before Disapparating.

You land in an alleyway, stumbling on your feet before steadying yourself. You wince, trying not to focus on the turning of your stomach. You breathe in, before stepping out and onto a street in London. In front of you is the window to an abandoned department store. The sign above reads 'Purge & Dowse Ltd', though the paint is flaking and faded.

You sidle up to the ugliest mannequin there, wearing a wretched green pinafore dress, and whisper, "I'm here to visit the Longbottoms."

You watch as the mannequin nods and beckons you forward. You glance around to make sure the coast is clear before stepping through the glass.

You breathe in the clinically clean air of St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies, watching as nurses and visitors bustle about. It's not long before you've made your way up to the Janus Thickey Ward for spell damage and are seating yourself down on a rickety stool between Alice and Frank Longbottom.

You sigh, gently taking Alice's hand in yours. "Hello, lovely."

Alice's face is no longer the healthy, bright face you used to know. It's now sallow and sunken, dark bags dragging under her eyes. Her clipped hair, which you remember her cutting during the war to keep it low-maintenance, is missing tufts in certain spots and clearly hasn't been cut in a while.

She rises at the sound of your voice, sitting up in her bed and looking about in confusion. She turns her eyes to you, but she's not really looking at you. It feels like she's looking through you, unfocused.

"How are you today?"

Alice blinks before nodding slowly a few seconds later, a blank expression on her face.

"Brilliant."

This is often how your 'conversations' with Alice go. She doesn't know what's going on at all. It's a cruel living.

Still, it feels good to visit. Part of you feels that if you keep returning to these two, they might gain some of their former sanity and health.

"Well, I'm good. Your young lad has started at Hogwarts, though I'm sure Augusta's told you that already." You turn your head to Frank, who is also sitting up but dreamily staring off at a potted plant in the far corner of the room. "Did you hear that, Frank? Neville has started at Hogwarts."

Frank blinks at you, then looks back at the potted plant, muttering something incomprehensible to himself.

"Frank?"

"N...Ne — vuh," Alice utters slowly with great effort.

You turn and smile encouragingly at her. "Nev, yes. Little Neville. Such a sweet boy, you two. You'd be so proud of him, being placed in Gryffindor! He's clearly as brave as you two!"

Silence. You look down at Alice's hand in yours, and gently pat the top lovingly.

"I talked to Remus today. We both miss you very much."

Still no response. Alice has now fixated on your hands and you can practically see the cogs slowly turning in her mind as she works to...think.

You've read plenty of articles on the Cruciatus Curse, looking for anything that might help your friends, but nothing ever comes up. You have found that some healers believe that the state that most victims end up in, the one that Alice and Frank are currently in, is like dreaming. They feel like they're in a dream. Not entirely in control of anything, especially their mind.

A healer walks up to Alice, a potion bottle in her hand, full of vile-looking yellow liquid. She notices you and gives you a sympathetic smile.

"Lovely to see you, professor!" She greets brightly and you smile in response. She turns to Alice, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Have you seen your visitor, Alice? Isn't it nice to get visitors?"

Alice doesn't say anything.

You sigh, stepping off the rickety stool and sliding your satchel up over your shoulder again. "I'll get going, Alice," you say to her. You nod at her husband, "Frank. Can't be missing dinner."

"Here, drink this, Alice," the healer says softly and raises the bottle to Alice's lips, who thankfully parts her lips without objection and the healer tips the contents down her throat. She turns to you. "Thank you for visiting. It may not look it, but it does wonders for them."

You nod in understanding. "I hope so. Thank you for taking care of them so well. I'm sure I'll be 'round again soon enough."

She smiles and you take your leave, giving Alice and Frank one last departing look as you exit the ward.

The healer is giving Frank the same potion and Alice has already fallen asleep and you bite your lip, sighing. At least she's asleep now.

Peaceful.

🤧

✧*⁠。✧*⁠。

->-> read chapter three here!

→ all kinds of interaction appreciated ♡

[fantasyfantasygames]

How To Win The Next Election

How To Win The Next Election, Full Court Marathon Games, 2024

Originally written in 2016, How To Win The Next Election (HTWTNE) was revised recently and reissued. Unlike a lot of RPGs, it's one with distinct winners and losers at the end. Your characters are people involved in the political process of a large nation, trying to ensure that your allies and land are protected.

Stats are focused on mental and social, and are also alphabetized: Artistry, Bravado, Charisma, Deviousness, and Earnings (a wealth score). The only physical stat is that there's a Fatigue score that can be improved if you get exercise (and other factors). Skills are fairly broad, and include Writing, Speaking, Design, Technology, Negotiation, etc. There are no official "playbooks", but there are a few templates you can use, like Organizer, Protester, Webmaster, The Face, etc. Stats are determined semi-randomly In general no one's going to be able to do it all themselves. Having your team work together is key, and even someone with really low stats can contribute. Connecting with other groups in-game is vital as well.

The game is designed explicitly for "campaign" play (ha). No one-shots here; the rules just don't work on a scale that small. Each session your team works on something specific: phone banking, flyering, fundraising, tough conversations, etc. In the long run, it's all about accumulating bonuses to your Turnout score. HTWTNE is unique in that allies from other play groups can also give you a bonus! Those bonuses fade over time at a somewhat random rate - some of them stick around for multiple sessions, helping you build momentum, but sometimes the game's randomized "news cycle" punts you off the public awareness. Your mid-game Turnout can also help you recruit new allies.

It's possible to put your team into a "walking dead" situation where you haven't taken advantage of the bonuses available early on, or haven't made enough alliances. Luckily there are a lot of "walkthroughs" online (weird for a niche TTRPG, I know) that can help you avoid that. There are even groups who play this game more or less continuously, though you'll probably want to dip in and out. Your Fatigue score recovers over the course of real time rather than game sessions.

HTWTNE can definitely feel unfair at times. I won my first playthrough and lost my second, and both were really down to the wire. Some of what I did mattered; some didn't. I can't say that I loved playing it, but I know I'll be playing again pretty soon.

Full Court Marathon Games (motto: It's Not A Race) doesn't put out a lot of products, but the ones they make are pretty compelling. I encourage you to try it out.

[spectrechosts]

Vampire Lover - Chapter 2

An guest drops in unannounced.

Full Series

Willow is normal. This time for sure.

It took a few weeks, but she's almost certain she's gotten used to vampire blood. Alice gave her another hit last week and she barely went crazy-hyper-mode at all, much less reached the three days of extreme energy - 36 hours of dead sleep cycle she had going at the peak of her initial transformation.

She is normal. She doesn't feel restless, or jittery, and she can look back and realize that she was definitely not normal for a while- which she's pretty sure the ability to do that is a good indicator of normalness. Perfectly used to her new powers.

For instance, right now she is using her enhanced reflexes to absolutely destroy Bonetail with frame-perfect powerbounces. Remake nerf? Not for her! She should try speedrunning, except she isn't quite sure if that counts as cheating or not. Are there rules about supernatural powers? Is that a TAS?

There's a knock at the door, which is… strange, but not unheard of. She pauses and goes to check it.

She opens it to see a gaunt, monstrous older woman in fancy gothic attire.

"Hello?" She says, and the woman glides past her into their apartment. "Wh- Hey!"

"I can't enter unless invited." Says the woman, not even sparing her a look. "Explain yourself."

Immediately Willow is on the back foot. This woman belongs here, and she- well, she belongs here too, but she doesn't have any magically self-evident way to demonstrate that. And this woman is… scary. She looks like she lives in a manor or a castle or something.

Sure, Alice and Senna are vampires, but she's like, Nosferatu.

"Are you going to answer me or are you going to keep gawking?" She asks, lazily examining her surroundings.

"I- I live here." Willow says, closing the door.

"Ha!" The woman laughs, dryly. "Let me get a look at you then."

She grabs Willow's cheeks with both hands and examines her, tilting her head to the side to look over her neck. "Mm. Bite scars aren't fresh."

"Itsh been a wittle while." Willow says, defensively, which- why is she defensive about that? Who the fuck even is this? She struggles out of the woman's grip and glares at her.

"Ugh, unruly child." The woman says disdainfully. "Very well, I've seen enough. Go do whatever it is you do. I'll call if I need anything."

Willow does not go do whatever it is she does, and instead follows the woman around as she snoops through their apartment.

"Alice," she types out hastily on her phone, "there's a weird lady here, she just walked right in."

When she looks up the woman has made her way into their bedroom, which, fuck no.

Willow rushes in after her to find her examining Alice's closet. She glances at her and reiterates: "I'll call if I need anything. I'm not thirsty."

"I wasn't offering???" Says Willow, and the woman has already tuned her out to return to her snooping. She tuts and shakes her head.

"Tell me honestly child- Is she still dressing like the boy from the Buffy show?"

Oh god, does she mean Spike? Is that on purpose?

"Um, I haven't seen it." Willow lies.

"Oh. Was that a long time ago, now? I can never keep track anymore." The woman says, and Willow thinks she's ignoring her again until she continues: "How is her hair, is she still cutting it all off?"

"Uh…" Willow trails off, as her phone buzzes. Who is this? Why does she care what Alice does with her hair? She peeks at her screen.

"Shit. On my way."

"It's like, um, it's like half short and half… longish." She answers, and the woman raises an eyebrow.

"Half?" She asks.

"Like if, like just this bit is shaved short." She says, covering up the side of her head with her hand. "And then the rest is a bit shorter than mine."

"Is that the style now?"

Willow shrugs, and the woman continues looking through their things, moving from Alice's closet to-

"H-hey!" Willow squeaks. "Don't- Don't snoop around in here."

"Oh, relax." The woman chides, looking through some of Senna's things. "I know her and Senna share a room, that they're tribades. I'm very forward-thinking, I'll have you know."

What the fuck is a tribade? Should she be offended? Relieved?

"R-Right, that's all well and good, but-" Willow stammers, and then the woman starts looking through a third stash of clothes that are conspicuously neither Senna's nor Alice's, and that could be an issue.

"Hm." She murmurs, batlike nose twitching. "Are you-"

Thankfully, Alice gets home right then.

"Mom!" She snaps, rounding through the door.

"Mom!?" Willow squeaks.

"Alice, darling! How good to see you." Alice's mom says, dropping Willow's pajamas and her previous train of thought. "How is Senna?"

"She's great, mom, can we-"

"And who is this? Why does she share a room with the two of you?"

Okay, she didn't drop it very hard.

"Right, ah, well-" Alice flounders.

"She's your mom???" Willow asks, and Alice half-shrugs.

"Vampire mom, not human mom. She sired me." She says, rubbing the back of her head. "Look, mom, you're not supposed to just drop in unannounced-"

"Oh, but I had to!" Her mom says. "I needed to give you my new contact information, I purchased a smart telephone, have you heard of these?"

"That's great mom, that's really great, we can talk about that in the living room just follow me out here-" Alice says, and her mom leans toward Willow.

"So pushy, she always gets like this, you know. Doesn't write, doesn't like when I come visit-" She says, and Alice flushes red.

"Mom!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming." She says, following Alice out into the hallway. "Alice who is that? Is everything alright with Senna?"

"Mom everything is fine I really don't want to explain this to you right now-"

Willow sits on the bed, dazed.

She had never really thought about Alice and Senna's parents as like, people she would meet. Should she take them to meet her parents? She pulls out her phone again to text Senna.

"Alice's mom is here."

Moments pass, and then-

"Have fun."

Okay, no help from Senna then. She joins the two of them in the living room, where Alice's mom beckons her closer.

"Hello child, why didn't you tell me you were- Oh, what do I call her?" She asks, and Alice sighs.

"My girlfriend."

"-Alice's girlfriend!"

"Um, well, you didn't really introduce yourself?" Willow says, and Alice's mom waves her off.

"Oh, but that was when I thought you a common ghoul!" She says, and Alice winces. "Tell me, what are your intentions with my daughter?"

"Uhhhhh…"

"Don't answer that." Alice says. "Mom, give me your phone number, we can make plans for while you're in town."

"But I'm here now-"

"I have work, and Willow is… sleepy. Humans. You know."

"…Well, okay." Alice's mom says. "Here, you just type it in and you don't even have to remember the number-"

~

It takes about ten more minutes for Alice to herd her out the door and then return and slump onto the couch.

"I am so, so sorry you had to see that." She says.

"…Your mom?"

"My mommmmm." She groans. "She's going to want to talk to you more."

"She seems very, um…" Willow pauses. "Grandma…ish."

"Did she grab your cheeks? She does that." Alice asks, and Willow nods.

"Is… Is tribade a slur?"

[the-haunted-office]

Doomsday comes flying down the stairs into the basement, her arrival triggering the motion sensor lights. They click on and fill the dark hallways with faded yellow light, enough for her to see by, and unfortunately enough for her to be seen as well - not that it would matter much, the Retcon would still be able to sense her, even in darkness.

Still, she flees. She has to. She doesn't want to change. Can't change. She is who she is, and anyone who doesn't see that is a fool. An asshole, really. Doomsday? Change? What a joke! Her whole life has been one cycle on repeat, one series of events that has really been one event in different shades, the same movie played by different actors, the same story narrated by different voices, it's all the same, nothing ever changes. Why should she change? None of it matters anyway.

(Cut here due to length!!)

She heads deep into the basement, further back into it, where the stink of mildew and urine is especially strong. Hardly anyone ever comes back here - except for most of the Office rats, and they're the cause of the heavy urine smell. This is where most of the old ABC Corp files and documents have been stored, and that is precisely why the rats like it here. Lots of paper for them to tear up and make their nests out of. Incidentally, there is also where Shadow Stanley likes to hang out the most, on account of this being where all the records are kept. Shadow loves all the data.

And that is just who she finds down here - rats, and Shadow Stanley.

Doom dives down into the room full of shredded up, piss-soaked old records, huffing and puffing from all the running. "Oh, hey, Stanley. How's it going? Mind if I hang out with you for a bit?" she says upon seeing the pair of yellow glowing spots that are his eyes sitting there within the darkness, blinking at her.

They yellow glowing eyes bob up and down, which Doom takes for a shrug - a typical "Stanley" response.

"Cool," Doom replies, and shifts around in the moist paper, as if trying to get more comfortable. She inhales another lungful of aromatic ammonia-filled air and lets it out, trying to relax amongst the chaos. "So, what's new? Find anything interesting down here lately? Any new, ah, you know, TPS Reports or whatever?"

Another up and down motion, which Doom understands to be another shrug.

"Eh, I imagine you've been through all this shit by now anyway, right."

There is no response this time, just more rustling as the eyes get to moving around in the mounds of paper again. Either that or it's the rats.

Suddenly there's noise, the sounds of things being ripped away and changed and Doom knows she's been found.

"Sorry, buddy, I'd love to stick around with you and marinate, but gotta go-" Doom blurts out as she gets up to leave.

But it's too late. Somehow the Retcon has snuck up on her, silently, up until the moment that it was upon her.

"FUCK! Oh come on," she complains, papers shuffling and rats screeching to get out of the way as she kicks everything out of her way in an attempt to evade the oncoming change. Shadow Stanley has vanished, she can't help but notice. "What do you want from me?!" she shouts at it. "Why are you doing this to me?! I'm perfect the way I am! Why do I have to change? Why am I always the one who has to change? It's not fair!"

The Retcon sits there, not advancing, not retreating, but just... sitting there... as if considering what she has to say.

Doom doesn't relax. She's as tense as ever as she tries to plead her case amongst the sea of shredded documents and waste. "It's always been like this for me, man, and it's bullshit! Pure, utter bullshit! People come into my life, fuck up my status quo, mess everything up, and then leave. They leave me with the mess, and then I have to change. I am the one who has to clean everything up and change around everything and- Why? Why? How is that fair? Tell me how that's fair and I'll let you change me."

The Retcon doesn't say anything. It continues to sit there. Motionless. Quiet. Waiting.

For what?

Doom goes on, getting angrier as she does. "Why am I always the one that's wrong? Huh? Why is that? Why am I always the one making the wrong choices? No matter what I do. No matter what I say. I'm always the one who's wrong. I can't do anything right. If I speak up, I'm wrong. If I stay silent, I'm wrong. If I defend myself, I'm wrong. If I don't do anything, I'm wrong. If I call someone out on their bullshit, I'm wrong. If I don't, I'm wrong. If I coddle someone, I'm wrong. If I don't, I'm wrong. If I want to fuck someone, I'm wrong. If I want to stay celibate, I'm wrong. People can go out there and commit literal murder and it's okay! It's fine! They're totally forgiven because they're cute. But me? If I so much as put one single fucking toe out of line, I'm a total bitch and deserve to die in a fire, because- why? I don't know! I'm always wrong! So why do I have to change! Tell me!"

The Retcon doesn't say anything. It just....... sits there.

Doomsday doesn't say anything either. She breaks. She flat out screams at the Retcon, full on screams until her voice breaks and her throat feels as though it has split out, and then she finds herself sitting on the piss-soaked floor, crying, because she can't take any of this anymore.

"Fine," she moans, feeling totally, utterly miserable. "F-Fine. Just... change me however you see fit. Whatever it takes to make it all stop."

The Retcon rolls forward, ready to take her, and Doom stays where she is, ready to be taken.

[rachthepoet]

Sunflower, Vol. 6 Analysis

My baby, my darling, my decadent Sunflower, Vol. 6. Is this post just an excuse for me to sing my praises? To gush my heart out? Write a self-indulgent love letter to my favorite song? Absolutely. But won't you so generously entertain me with your time?

Sunflower, Vol. 6 holds genius on all the levels a mind can conceive — lyrical, musical — and I can't forget to mention the pure romanticism that induces a flush to my cheeks. Ahhh. Yet, somewhere, it remains one of his most underrated pieces. Harry's use of extended metaphor here is something I'll forever love, for he knows how to execute it well, and this song presents itself as a masterclass in said technique. Oh, my bad. Am I getting too ahead of myself again? If it wasn't clear, the beautiful sunflower is our metaphor here, with many layers to unravel. Petal by petal.

Here's a deep dive into Harry Styles' Sunflower, Vol. 6, from a poet. And your self-proclaimed residential sunflower connoisseur.

🌻Why Sunflowers? Why the Vol. 6?

First, we must talk Floriography, a grand love of mine.

Floriography is, simply put, the language of flowers. Every flower out there holds different meanings, often based on the species, variant, color, characteristics, or all of the above in combination. Floriography then, you see, is the art of communicating through flowers. It was popularized during the Victorian Era, though it's been around before then. It is a way to communicate without saying much at all. People would carefully select and organize a bouquet/floral arrangement to convey a specific sentiment to the recipient. Even the distinction between a single flower sent or a bouquet held significance and could convey very different messages. There's great nuance to such a subtle means of communication.

But, I don't want to overwhelm you. Sunflowers in floriography will be our focus. Sunflowers symbolize loyalty, love of life, adoration, and devotion. The symbolism derives from sunflowers being heliotropic — the flower's tendency to follow the sun across the sky as an instinctual part of its growth cycle. And, how about that, this leads perfectly to my first theory about the addition of the Vol. 6.

According to the National Sunflower Association and seen in the official sunflower production handbook, a sunflower has 9 stages of reproductive growth (R-1 to R-9). But, to honor your time, let's skip ahead to stage R-6 or, if you will, a sunflower's sixth volume.

"Flowering is complete and the ray flowers are wilting."

This is the peak of the sunflower's reproductive growth, as its seeds begin to ripen, signifying the sunflower reaching maturity. R-1 to R-5 is from seedling to fully formed. R-5 is where you can cut the flowers down, arrange them in a pretty vase, and display them on your windowsill. Or a centerpiece for your table. Which is beautiful, but only for a time. But, the flower cut during R-5 will never progress to R-6, and will never complete the full circle of its life. It's a catalyst, a moment of decision toward change, for the seeds to be harvested and replanted for one of nature's cycles to continue.

Now, let's use our newfound knowledge of a sunflower's growth, and apply it to the metaphor we see here: a growing relationship. Within said metaphor, stage R-6 would be the height of the relationship — a time filled with ecstasy, admiration, and realization. But, in companionship with change. Pulling from our now-shared knowledge of floriography, we know that sunflowers communicate loyalty, love of life, adoration, and devotion. Therefore, my theorization is that the relationship at the song's heart is one that he thought could last, be sustained, and remain at its peak. Stage R-6 is where it peaked, maybe one of many peaks. But the found nuance is how it has a possibility of going down, paralleling how the sunflower's seeds will soon fall. But, in this cascading, there can be rebirth (as in, letting the natural cycle continue, parallels fate). The 6th volume, the 6th stage, is the catalyst for the future's fate. He could've chosen to let this person go, to cut the "Sunflower" down, put them in a vase, and only look fondly upon them as his past. Rather, he wants to fight for them to make it to the next stage, to try and complete the cycle to come back renewed. But, also, there's still uncertainty and a lingering change. Maybe they'd come back together, maybe they wouldn't. But all would be worth it.

The Fine Line album is heavy on themes of change and grieving, and this song slides into that grand motif just fine. To me, this song does chronicle a pivotal time between the two characters — the speaker, presumed to be Harry himself, and the lover being serenaded with this piece.

Though the growth stage theory is the one I'm most fond of, I do have other thoughts and theories about that Vol. 6 addition. It never seems to escape my mind, I'm always thinking about it. Even just running in the background of my brain. And, well, it's always good to have your backups! So, let's run through them, yeah?

Numerology: Number 6 is considered the most harmonious of the numbers, holding close a representation of home, harmony, nurturing, and idealism. It's an embodiment of the heart and can represent unconditional love. Don't have any clue if Harry's ever read up on numerology, but! I still feel as if it's a possibility to be one of those odd things he'd pick a book up on. Number 6 in love, the numerology personality is a devoted lover, which ties back to sunflowers symbolizing devotion. And, I'll end this bit off by quoting a paragraph from Astrotalk:

"Though numerology number 6 does not readily fall in love, once they do, they would go to any length to ensure that their partners are happy and safe... They are concerned about ensuring a safe and healthy environment for their partner. These are enthusiastic people that express a lot of love..."

Erik Erikson: Erikson's theory of Psychosocial Development has a total of eight stages — and stage 6 is the psychosocial crisis of intimacy vs. isolation, with the developed virtue being love. Those who chose intimacy foster deep meaningful connection, which is something explored as an aching desire in Harry's songs before. In this sixth stage of development, the core question asks: WILL I BE LOVED, OR WILL I BE ALONE? A path to an enriched life paves if intimacy is chosen. But, if this stage is ignored, it can manifest into a fear of rejection and negatively impact the other stages. Frankly, I could even stretch to say that core question can be applied to the song itself.

The 6th Song About This Person in Fine Line / Continuation Chapter: A shorter theory, and a more personal one that I have already convinced myself people might not see eye-to-eye on, but that's totally okay! The structure of Vol. 6 led me to a mindset of books. Not a very hard mindset to lead me into, but I digress. Which, then, made me consider it being a continuing chapter or the next book in a series, metaphorically. Golden. Watermelon Sugar. Cherry. Falling. To Be So Lonely. And, then, Sunflower, Vol. 6. When I listen to the album, these all have a connecting red string for me. That's all I'm going to say for now, for an elaboration would be a whole new dissertation here. And I'm already so lucky you're sticking around for this long one.

Just Five Others Volumes: Admittedly the most mundane and easy explanation of the many, but shouldn't be ruled out. There could very well be just five previous versions of the song stashed in his personal vault. Sometimes, you have to go through many versions before arriving at a final version you love. As a poet, I get you Harry, and I feel you in that.

🌻Lyric Pull Apart

[INTRO] Sunflower

Though sounding like gibberish at the top, this intro sets the foundation for the poetry to bloom. It's Harry saying the word sunflower, but reversed, which sets us up for a cyclical experience... much like the natural growth cycle of our beloved flower. Or, even, the cycle of the rising and falling of the sun. Or, maybe, the sun moving and the flower following. The relationship at the heart of the song will circle back around, never truly wilting or fading. Embedded in the stylistic choice of the circle structure, this love transcends the standard timeline, moving beyond the chronological. For it's always circling back around to its heart, to its peak. To its sixth volume. [HINT: LISTEN INTENTLY LATER FOR THE TENSE CHANGES.]

We've solidified the sunflower's significance in Floriography, yes? Devotion? Now, I'm going to offer another perspective on the saccharine symbolism of Harry's sunflower — a comforting nickname for the person he's addressing throughout the song. And I'm going to bring in some poetry. Oh boy, am I — it's one of my favorites.

Sunflower Sutra is a poem by Beat poet Allen Ginsberg that I can vividly imagine Harry reading and stashing away to his inspiration bank. Ginsberg right beside Brautigan. There's always been this fond love inside me for the Beat Generation, how their writing is dirty, down-to-earth, and weird in the best ways a human could fathom. How the only right way to read their work is to rant it out. It's full of passion, and always about being alive, every part of it — and, truly, I see Fine Line, the album, the same, a celebration of being alive in all the flux. And Sunflower, Vol. 6? You're a part of it, baby!

"A perfect beauty of a sunflower! a perfect excellent lovely sunflower existence! a sweet natural eye to / the new hip moon, woke up alive and excited grasping in the sunset shadow sunrise golden / monthly breeze!"

In my interpretation (to which you are free to disagree with or add to), Ginsberg's sunflower represents something tarnished and battered but can be redeemed and grow in beauty again — all this he ponders alongside Kerouac. An anti-industrialization poem at its core, yes, but I do think it could've inspired Harry in some ways for this song.

I believe Sunflower, Vol. 6 can be read as a romantic reassurance hymn when studied through the lens of Ginsberg's poem. Something, or rather someone, beaten down but with the potential to bloom out of hardships. Maybe two someones. I see this narrative & nuance running rampant through the song and its core relationship. And, again, I believe we find ourselves back at the circle concept. The relationship at the heart of Sunflower, Vol. 6 continues to come back around to domestic comfort, a stabilizer despite their hardships, and I believe this to be a more fleshed-out reason behind the tense shifts seen soon. Though we've been beaten down by these outside forces, we will rise again — with the lesson of not letting circumstances make us believe we're something we're not.

"Poor dead flower? when did you forget you were a flower? when did you look at your skin and / decide you were an impotent dirty old locomotive? the ghost of a locomotive? the specter and / shade of a once powerful mad American locomotive? / You were never no locomotive, Sunflower, you were a sunflower!"

The natural vs. the unnatural. Regarding Sunflower, Vol. 6, the natural here is Harry and his Sunflower, of course. The unnatural is whoever and whatever that is a negative outside force impacting the health of the relationship. Think of infected soil. Sunflower, Vol. 6 invokes such joy when listening, and that's because it's supposed to! It's a happy reassurance of love. Harry reassures his Sunflower that there will always be this sense of devotion, even when things fall. It circles. Like the sun. Like the flower.

"So I grabbed up the skeleton thick sunflower and stuck it at my side like a scepter, / and deliver my sermon to my soul, and Jack's soul too, and anyone who'll listen,"

[VERSE 1] Sunflower, my eyes want you more than a melody Let me inside, wish I could get to know you Sunflowers sometimes keep it sweet in your memory I was just tongue-tied

Sunflower, my eyes want you more than a melody: When you realize how much of a music nerd Harry can be, you'd come around to see just how fucking adorable this line is. He wants to see his Sunflower in person more than he wants to write a song or discover a new melody. More than he wants to envelop himself in his art. His life's passion. Like?? Oh, he's so loverboy for that.

HARRY, THE FOOL IN LOVE. A characterization I feel travels throughout the Fine Line album, in different lights as illustrated in each song. Illustrated multiple moments in this song.

Let me inside, wish I could get to know you: Get out of your dirty mind now. Urban Dictionary has rotted too many brains. He harbors a desire to get to know his Sunflower on a deeper level. Wants to be let inside their head and thoughts (as they're already in his?), their heart (because Sunflower is afraid of love?), and their world (desire to be invested in all that is them, an all-consuming type of infatuation). But, it's the phrasing that piques my intrigue. Wish I could get to know you. Saying wish implies hope, something hard to obtain, a dream almost. It gives off the notion there's some distance — maybe physical, maybe emotional — like there's a reason behind him not being able to fulfill this desire for transparency (something consistently asked for, despite his own character flaw of miscommunication). And, that's exactly what this is to me, another yearning for transparency, trust, and open communication — themes in the Fine Line album. Maybe, just maybe, this is something they're still working on, a hardship they're still trudging through. Maybe Harry doesn't feel he has that agency yet, still working on peeling back his Sunflower's leaves.

Sunflowers sometimes keep it sweet in your memory: He holds onto the good of the relationship rather than focusing on the pitfalls. The growth over the destruction. His memories of his Sunflower remain sweet and sunny by his conscious design. However... there's always been a way I've heard this line and, here I be, shamelessly wondering if anybody else hears it that way, too.

I hear this lyric in two separate intervals: Sunflowers sometimes and Keep it sweet in your memory, as if they're both interrupting the other. Has he gone tongue-tied, like he's about to admit himself to? Almost as if he's going to say something negative, but stops himself with reassurance instead? The reassurance in question is how he'll keep it all sweet in his head, in the melody, for the means of preservation, rather than dwell on the bad. This, then, ties back to the discussion of Ginsberg's poem and how this piece can be heard as a song of reassurance. One where he keeps getting oh so tongue-tied...

I was just tongue-tied: ... And speaking of getting tongue-tied! This common term is used when people can't find the words to communicate — and struggle with communication is one of Harry's common plights explored in his oeuvre. Also, this could be a cheeky little allusion to kissing. Tongues intertwined with each other in passion. And, god, we adore that, too.

[PRE-CHORUS] I don't wanna make you feel bad But I've been trying hard not to talk to you Sunflower (Sunflower, Sunflower!)

I don't wanna make you feel bad / But I've been trying hard not to talk to you: In what I believe to be a continuation of the line before, we witness more struggle with communication. We love an artist with a common theme! Harry makes it clear that it's not his Sunflower's fault, yet feels some intimidation knowing that he won't be able to stop himself from falling like a little boy (TBSL CONNECT / HARRY THE FOOL IN LOVE CONTINUES). Maybe he's had moments where he's tried to disengage out of bad habits but doesn't want his Sunfower to ever feel guilt around his actions. Sometimes he pulls back because of his feelings of embarrassment from being so tongue-tied. Sometimes he pulls back from moments of fear. Just as his Sunflower does, as well.

Sunflower (Sunflower, Sunflower!): A return back to a comforting nickname to soothe them, which brings us further into the Ginsberg-influenced perspective that this is a song of reassurance in romanticisms.

[CHORUS 1] I couldn't want you anymore Kiss in the kitchen like it's a dance floor I couldn't want you anymore Tonight (Tonight, tonight, tonight)

I couldn't want you anymore: Don't know about you, but I think this is such a beautiful way to say I love you. And, there's such a giddiness to it, such joy in the choruses in this part. As mentioned before, he keeps returning to this domestic sweetness and these sunny memories, and you can feel the distinct shift, even if the rest of the song rings joyfully. It's just a different kind of joy here, indicated by different instrumentals as our hint in the ear.

We have also found ourselves sinking into another moment of reassurance, reminding his Sunflower how much he desires them. Which is, again, more signs of devotion.

Kiss in the kitchen like it's a dance floor: Oh, this line. How I love it so! Kissing in the kitchen is a delectable image that emphasizes a commitment to building up a long-term relationship (leans into domestic scenery). Which is, you guessed it, another example of devotion. The added implication is that he wants to move forward, continuing this growth cycle with his Sunflower. As discussed prior with the sunflower's growth stages, stage R-6 is where the decision is made to allow the circle to complete naturally instead of harvesting the sunflowers at stage R-5.

This right here could be a reach of a connection, but I do get a little bell in my head reminding me of Two Ghosts from Harry's eponymous debut, specifically the lyric: THE FRIDGE LIGHT WASHES THIS ROOM WHITE / THE MOON DANCES OVER YOUR GOOD SIDE. Revisiting an older song, reflecting on past relationships, and reflecting on past emotions, then proceeding to flip it on its head. Feeling the improvement and the more healthy situation he's in now. Battered down, but potential for rebirth (Ginsberg's Sunflower Sutra).

I couldn't want you anymore / Tonight (Tonight, tonight, tonight): Then, the signal of devotion is repeated, and this desire can be both physical and emotional. Devotion can lend itself to reassurance, as I believe both are often interwoven. And, can't not give a quick shoutout to the captivating Queen vibes I get from the echoing chorus of tonight, tonight, tonight!

[VERSE 2] Wondering, headshake Tired eyes are the death of me Mouthful of toothpaste before I got to know you I've got your face hung up high in the gallery I love this shade, Sunflower, Sunflower Your flowers just died, plant new seeds in the melody Let me inside, I wanna get to know you

Wondering, headshake / Tired eyes are the death of me: Wondering, still getting to know things about one another often, there are still things left to mystery about his Sunflower. Headshake, a moment of disbelief. He can't believe his eyes, his luck, shaking his head to make sure it's not all just a dream or hallucinatory. Then, his Sunflower's tired eyes are the death of him. He swoons as they wake up together, in a moment where both are unguarded. Implications lead me to assume that they've spent nights at each other's abodes, painting intimacy. Domestic intimacy, with a delicate hand, is what we return to. Sleeping next to one another, waking up next to each other, and ending and starting the day together. Intertwined. The rising and falling of the sun. Another cycle, perhaps? Subtle?

Mouthful of toothpaste before I got to know you: A further continuation of the domestic intimacy illustrated before, as we remain in the same scene — or at least concept. I adore the visual I get from this — honeymoon phase, where he sneaks out of bed to brush his teeth before his Sunflower wakes up. And, with the line, Before I got to know you, it does seem to be an earlier stage. Much like the honeymoon phase. Get what I'm getting at?

I've got your face hung up high in the gallery: A revisitation to adoration, found representation back in the flower itself (Floriography), alongside devotion, etcetera etcetera. His Sunflower's face is hung up high (Golden connect, I believe), in a gallery where he's studying them, in a gallery like they are precious art to be looked upon in wonder. Up high with importance. In this, I believe he's saying that he'll never forget his Sunflower's face, almost memorializing them and their relationship.

"The sixth volume of the sunflower is the catalyst for determining the cycle's fate. Will the flowers be cut down and preserved in a vase temporarily? Or, will the flowers continue with the natural cycle, in a consistent death and rebirth?"

He reassures that he'll never forget them, and finds himself putting his Sunflower on a pedestal — but not having himself hung up high beside them, for he's the one in constant admiration (HARRY, THE FOOL IN LOVE). A manifestation of his appreciation for his Sunflower's beauty and sublimity. From the gallery, Harry can admire them, like one admires and studies a piece of fine art for hours and hours on end. Harry holds such great admiration for them, and they still manage to mystify him all the time.

And, we can't ignore the echo back to Cherry, my other favorite, and how these two songs contrast in both meaning and context — so, to include a line that connects them to one another is a clever move artistically, as it highlights the stark differences with such intent. As the listener moves step-by-step through the stages of grieving set up in the song order — a whole other discussion for another post — we are experiencing the fluctuation of life's experiences, including love. And this is, I feel, a core concept to the Fine Line album, which then trickles down to extend to each song integrated by artist's choice.

I love this shade, Sunflower, Sunflower: Continuing on from the gallery visual, this cute little line... hmm. I have to admit that it did stump me for a little while, trying to draw out any hidden coding and making sure I didn't miss anything. But, in the end, this is what I've concluded for myself. Referencing the shade cast on him from his Sunflower's face hanging in the gallery, he doesn't mind being the one looking up in admiration. In fact, he loves it and relishes it. Much mirroring the nature of a sunflower following the sun up in the sky.

To bring it even further into the rabbit hole, most of what Harry knows in his life is people looking up to him, admiring him, and worshipping him, in response to his fame. So, just maybe, he loves the chance to be the admirer rather than the admired. Then, with sunflower, sunflower, we turn back to the comforting nickname and the soothing reassurance that comes in tow with it.

Your flowers just died, plant new seeds in the melody: Another line that's been wrecked by Urban Dictionary thumpers. I DON'T EVER WRITE OFF DOUBLE ENTENDRES, BUT STOP DISCREDITING THE MAN'S WRITING ABILITIES TO ONLY BEING ABLE TO WRITE ABOUT SEX. K? I'm taking you back to the sunflower's growth cycle again. Remember how we walked about the significance of being on stage R-6? Flowering is complete? What comes after is the beginning of the sunflower seeds ripening to be harvested, for which the flower has to die to make it so. Even in a sunflower's death, they are celebrated and cherished as new life, and the new possibilities found in the seeds that fall. Now, remember how the sunflower's growth cycle metaphorizes the circle Harry and his Sunflower are in? We're getting somewhere, I promise.

Your flowers just died is the first half we're going to focus on. What do these flowers represent? Hopes? Dreams? Something beautiful? Something that couldn't grow or bloom anymore? Possibly representing the ups and downs of life, but the two will find a way through it. The flowers died, but the plant is alive. And still the same flower. Not losing sight of who they are (GINSBERG PARALLEL).

Plant new seeds in the melody is the second half, and then we'll piece them together. In what melody? Well, in this melody! He's using this melody, this song for his Sunflower, as a reassurance (!!!) that they will get through the hardships because his devotion and adoration runs deep. And, then, put them together.

Your flowers just died, plant new seeds in the melody. When you plant the seeds gathered from the wilted sunflower and sow them into the rejuvenated ground, a new flower is reaped that'll run the cycle anew.

Let me inside, I wanna get to know you: There's no more wishing, and now a bit more agency is gained on Harry's side of things. No more wishing, no more hoping, he's here and wants this. He's begging his Sunflower to let himself, then mirroring how earlier in the same verse he said before I got to know you. It's all a circle, a cycle, that goes around and around. A big theme in this song is yearning, to me, and this line makes no exception.

[PRE-CHORUS] I don't wanna make you feel bad But I've been trying hard not to act a fool Sunflower (Sunflower, Sunflower!)

I don't wanna make you feel bad / But I've been trying hard not to act a fool: Can I just interject here to say I love his depiction of him? You know, HARRY, THE FOOL IN LOVE. Present eloquently in this song and others. He reiterates here how he doesn't want his Sunflower to take on guilt for anything. He doesn't want to get it wrong, he doesn't want to say something foolish, but holy shit, they are really making him lose his mind in the name of love.

Sunflower (Sunflower, Sunflower!): To be expected, we circle back around to the comforting nickname for the song's subject, his Sunflower. Reassurance vibrates each time this is brought back into the melody, with new seeds planted for hope each time. And this repetition creates a cyclical effect, which, if you haven't picked up on it, we always return to for this song.

[CHORUS 2 — ADD ON CHORUS] I couldn't want you anymore Kiss in the kitchen like it's a dance floor I couldn't want you anymore Tonight (Tonight, tonight, tonight!) I couldn't want you anymore Kids in the kitchen listen to dancehall I couldn't want you anymore Tonight (Tonight, tonight, tonight!)

I couldn't want you anymore / Kiss in the kitchen like it's a dance floor / I couldn't want you anymore / Tonight (Tonight, tonight, tonight!): More repetition, specifically repetition from the chorus before. Proclaimations of love, domestic intimacy in visuals, proclaiming love again. Repetition is to circling, and circling is to a cycle, and a sunflower is part of a circle/cycle. Both the flower and his Sunflower.

Kids in the kitchen listen to dancehall: Is this a look into the future, the hope for the future he planted before? Or, is it a reference to Harry and his Sunflower themselves? A continuation of domestic visuals from the sweet kitchen we got, either interpretation has a decadent meaning to it.

Picturing kids in the future: He's planted the seeds for a future together, returning to the feeling that Harry believes that what's between the two of them is something that could last. So much so that he's picturing settling down with his Sunflower, with dance parties in the kitchen to joyous music he introduced them to, and then bringing the joy radiating from the two of them into a whole family. A beautiful concept!

The two as children: This could be a proper extension of the other visual in the first chorus, where Harry's referring to himself and his Sunflower as the "kids" in question. Kids in love, fools in love (HARRY, THE FOOL IN LOVE!). He just keeps on picturing domestic bliss for the two of them. Kissing and dancing in the kitchen together as he shares parts of himself, what he loves, with his Sunflower.

[BRIDGE] Sunflower, my eyes want you more than a melody Let me inside, wish I could get to know you Sunflowers just died, keep it sweet in your memory I'm still tongue-tied Sunflower, Sunflower

Sunflowers just died, keep it sweet in your memory: Even when something in life has come to a close, it doesn't mean you can't look upon it fondly, and even in death doesn't mean there can't be rebirth. With this shift from your flowers to sunflowers, it's as if he's addressing his own metaphor and symbolism. A return to the core's devotion, the romanticism of the circle of the sunflower, and the parallel circle of the relationship. Sunflowers can represent, also, spectrums of the life cycle (youth, vitality, hopefulness, etc). Even in their death, they're celebrated, as their seeds promise new life and new purpose.

Through this piece, Harry is celebrating the beginning, the middle, and even the possibility of an end to his relationship with his Sunflower. He's cherishing when they were blooming with love, immortalizing that vibrant time in these melodies. When they were growing, flowering with idyllic dreams of domesticity. But, simultaneously, he's memorializing when they ran into moments of ruin — from which I believe this song was born.

I'm still tongue-tied: A purposeful mirroring of the line I was just tongue-tied, furthermore completely that circle thing that I know I'm getting repetitive reminding you of. But it's important, okay? He still can't find the words, he feels he still can't express his devotion to its fullness, and this entire song was him trying to explain it all! And, even in the song, he finds himself stumbling. No matter how long or how short this relationship lasts with his Sunflower, he will always be tongue-tied, baffled, and a bit lovestruck (HARRY, THE FOOL IN LOVE). His adoration for and devotion to this person takes away all self-control, wondering, headshake in constant disbelief.

[OUTRO] Sunflower, Sunflower Sunflower, Sunflower Ayy, woo, ow Woo-woo, woo-woo (x3) Yeah! Ooh, woo, ooh Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo

Hahaha, that was so fun to type out. The outro! How it fills me with such joy! The outro mirrors the intro with the last (comprehensible) thing he says being Sunflower, Sunflower before we lean into random noises that further show, you guessed it, HARRY, THE FOOL IN LOVE. And it's so fun to try and sing along to, and in that, we become a fool in love right beside him. This non-verbal section, raw emotion bursting through the seams, closes off the song in a moment of euphoria. Dipping down to go into Woo-woo or, as I like to hear it, Boop-boop — which is us listening in as he plants the seeds to nurture the flower (the relationship) as we continue to spin in this circle of love and hardship. With added reassurance. And added devotion.

We return to the knowledge about sunflowers — oh boy, I'm getting annoying — and how they're celebrated in their vitality, but also in their death because of the seeds they provide, even as they wilt. Harry is symbolically planting seeds in the melody, in Sunflower, Vol. 6, to grow more, bloom more, and maybe start anew with a perspective more rounded out.

The sunflower that's fallen can rise again, celebrated in death as much as in life. Even if this euphoria with his Sunflower ends, Harry is left with seeds of knowledge — of love, affection, and devotion — that he can plant and start a rebirth and rejuvenation in himself. And even further, whether it's both theirs or something separate. The Sunflower, his Sunflower, has taught him a lot about how vibrant things can be, and how much of a fool in love he can be, even after all the moments of heartbreak and grieving that have followed him.

I stand behind my claim that Sunflower, Vol. 6 is one of Harry's most romantic and genius songs. I mean, truly. I can't picture how one could even begin to deny it — this is a boy who loves love. A fucking fool in love. And I adore him and his romanticism of devotion so badly. Told through the subtle messaging of a flower metaphor? My goodness, sign me the fuck up.

🌻Core Lyric

I believe every song has one lyric that encompasses the song as an entity. For Sunflower, Vol.6, the core lyric is:

"keep it sweet in your memory"

I chose this as the core lyric because the entire song represents reassurance and devotion, but also this sense of memorialization. Even as the relationship with his Sunflower comes to a natural end, he will take seeds with him to sow and reap the rewards of what he's learned in future relationships, yes, but also in himself alone. This song is a romantic reassurance, but it can also be heard as a tribute, as they stay in his head. Their impact remains in the back of his mind. Naturally, these are all themes already explored, but you get the picture. So, keep Sunflower, Vol. 6 sweet in your memory. Because I have the minute I heard it the first time. Now, always, in the back of my mind — and hopefully, now, yours too.

Thank you for reading, you're absolutely incredible!

If there are any songs you'd like me to make an analysis of, please send your request to my inbox! Along with any questions or insights you might have yourself!

[krikeymate]

👀 Can we get a scene of Tara introducing the baby to the wolf?

It is my right, growls a voice inside her head. “You have no right,” Sam responds, agitated by the constant demands from the beast. It scares her, how desperate it is to meet Annie. She fears what it means. The wolf inside of her has demanded to meet many people since it began to manifest its own voice inside of her, a year and a half ago. None of them survived to meet their next sunrise.

She won't let it near Tara's daughter. She'll tear herself apart before she gives it an opportunity to touch the girl.

She is mine, it declares. Sam can feel the anger radiating from the beast at her continued denials, but it is nothing compared to her own. How dare it? How dare it try to claim something that belongs to her?

“She's not yours,” Sam hisses through grit teeth, careful to keep her voice low. Tara's just in the other room feeding Annie, and she won't have her disturbed. Again. She doesn't need her to worry, Sam will take care of this. She always does. “You are nothing, just a parasite hitching a ride inside my brain, like my father. He became a nuisance and I found a way to get rid of him, so mind your tongue or I'll do the same to you.”

The beast huffs, but doesn't continue to argue. Sam sighs in relief. It gets more and more vocal by the day, and she doesn't know what to do about it. It always has more to say around the full moon, and this month especially. But given what happened last cycle, perhaps it makes sense. Maybe once tonight is over she'll finally get some peace and quiet. For a while, at least.

Sam glances out the kitchen window at the soon-to-be setting sun. She needs to make a move now if she wants to be far away from here by the time the moon rises. And she does.

Despite her anxiety over the situation, Sam still takes a moment to pause in the doorway and watch her sister feed the baby.

Tara's seemed... different, since she came along. Happier, in a way. Calmer. Sam thinks she might be different too. Anika was an accident, but she might just be the best mistake they've ever made.

Walking forward, Sam rests her hands on the back of the couch and drops a kiss to the top of Tara's head. She reaches forward to run a hand over the downy hair on Annie's and leans over to kiss her as well.

“How are my favourite girls doing?” she asks, unable to hide the affection that laces every word. Not that she would want to. She never wants Tara to doubt how much she loves her, never again. Annie will never doubt how much she is loved.

Tara reaches up to leave a kiss of her own to Sam's jaw. “We're just as fine as we were half an hour ago,” she teases with a wide smile. It twitches, weakening as she takes in Sam's face, gaze lingering on the tightness of her expression and the white knuckle grip she has on the couch.

“It's still bothering you, isn't it?” she asks quietly. Sam doesn't respond, Tara already knows the answer. Her eyes flick between the window and her sister. She hates the way Tara's face drops as she catches the movement.

“Already?”

“It's safer this way, it's already restless. I don't want to be caught off guard too close to home.”

“I just wish you didn't have to do this alone.”

Sam moves around the couch and drops to one knee in front of her sister. “I'm never alone. Even when we're apart, I always feel you with me,” she says softly, eyes never leaving Tara's. It leaves her sister speechless. Sam takes the opportunity to make her escape now, before Tara says something that only makes it harder to leave.

Standing up, she cups Tara's face and leaves a kiss on her brow. “Don't try and wait up for me, you need your rest,” she declares. Turning to the baby, she gives her another kiss too. “Be good for your mother.” Annie just blinks up at her without recognition.

Sam forces herself back. She needs to leave, no matter how much she would rather spend the evening with her girls in her arms.

The wolf inside of her tries to reach back, pushing at her chest, desperate. It makes her spin on her heel and head for the door, every step away feels agonising. Pulling open the door, she resists the urge to look back. “Don't forget to lock the door,” she reminds her sister, a familiar routine.

“I won't,” Tara replies, as always. She sighs at the click of the door as Sam closes it behind her. She misses her already.

“It's just you and me tonight,” she murmurs sadly to the girl in her arms.

They've rarely been apart since Sam came back into her life. At first it was Sam's way of making it up to her, overcompensating for five years of loneliness by never leaving her side. Now it's nothing less than a want, a need. Sam's always said that her life began the moment Tara was born, and she thinks it must be true, because she knows now that Sam is the other half of her heart. She finally understands the heart-wrenching loneliness that almost tore her apart when Sam left. They were meant to be together.

She regrets that she couldn't appreciate the effort back then, too caught up in her own head, in trying to pretend everything was normal, in trying to be normal. It all seems so stupid now. She regrets not being able to appreciate Sam more when she needed her support, but she'll never regret what it led to, how it's freed her – freed Sam. It changed their lives for the better, the girl in her arms is evidence of that.

Tara's kicked out of her thoughts with a foot to the chest. She manages to pull her arms back just in time to miss a little fist flying for her too.

“What happened to being good for mommy?” she asks the fussing baby. Annie only whines in response, squirming in her arms. “I guess you didn't actually agree, did you?”

She stretches out her legs before getting up off the couch and taking her for a walk around the apartment, bouncing her arms in a way that never fails to calm Annie down. Except tonight it seems.

“You miss her too, huh?” she sighs, stopping at the window and looking out into the night. Sam says she can always feel her with her, Tara wishes she could say the same.

-

Something about tonight's change feels wrong. She's not far enough away, she realises too late. The thought coincides with her head snapping in the direction of home. It's like a beacon calling to her and she begins to move against her wishes. Sam struggles with her limbs as they move on their own. Her mouth growls, but it's not her voice. Home now, it says. No, she snarls back. The wolf doesn't listen. It drives her back, wrestles control over the body from her.

Sam doesn't think she's ever felt so out of control. It's been so long since she's felt this helpless.

This is her fault, she thinks. She got cocky, overconfident. She thought nothing could touch her.

If anything happens to her girls, if she does anything to them, she'll never forgive herself.

-

It's dark inside the building. Not even the moons piercing glow can breach the thick curtains caging the window. It's not right, but sometimes the absence of a blessing is one in itself. The dearth of its guiding light allows this one to violate the sanctum.

The tenacious one knows nothing of what she's truly capable of, knows nothing of what they are capable of. She's passionate but doesn't know how to listen very well. It has much to teach her, so it has to make her listen. It must make a demonstration.

It can hear its victims steady heartbeats. It's own heart races with anticipation as it skulks towards them, body near invisible in the darkness of the room.

-

Tara jolts awake in an instant, gasping. She was having a nightmare, she thinks. The details quickly fade from her mind, but the feeling of terror remains. She feels watched. Hunted. It unnerves her.

Rolling over, Tara reaches into the bassinet beside her to pick up Annie and pull her close. The baby sleeps through the movement, much to her relief. She doesn't want to disturb her just because she had a silly nightmare, but she needs her in her arms. It soothes her nerves, knowing Annie's safe in her embrace.

She turns back to Sam, intent on cuddling into her as she always does when she wakes up scared, before she remembers that Sam isn't here tonight.

The memory of Sam walking out the door sets her back on edge, arms tightening around her daughter on reflex. The dip in the mattress beside her is usually nothing to note, just a reminder that she's safe and her sister is here beside her.

Now it's an alarm bell screeching in her ears.

She holds her breathe, frozen. That's when she hears the panting, notices the prescence beside her. It's familiar, yet not.

The wolf begins to move, now noticed. It leans towards her, hot breathe blowing against the side of her face.

This isn't Sam, something inside of her screams.

The beast lurches forward, snapping its jaw near her ear. Tara hates the way she whimpers, curling up to protect Anika. She doesn't want it to know she's scared. It's still a part of Sam, how can she fear any part of her?

"Please," she whispers as it growls. She can feel the way it moves around her, fur brushing against her bare arms, reaching, grabbing.

The wolf has always claimed Tara as its own. They feared how it may react to another claiming her too, even before it began to show interest in the baby.

"Don't hurt her."

Her voice is edged with desperation, tears beginning to fall.

It doesn't like that, and snaps again, nipping at her shoulder, snarling all the while.

The beast steps back, reevaluating as it watches the girl only draw away, hiding the pup further. It cannot treat prey like a predator, it thinks.

It barks and lays down, pinning its intended's legs with their own, head resting on its paws. It means them no harm, as she fears, but it has no way to communicate this with a human. The moon only knows its host would never allow them the opportunity to speak through them, only to. It laments this fact, for it has so much to say to their packmates.

The thought has the wolf whimpering.

The noise makes Tara peek up from between her arms and legs. She meets the curious silver eyes peering up at her, and feels reassured.

This still isn't Sam, but it is familiar. She's met this wolf before, been protected by it before. It makes her fear dull.

Relaxing, Tara begins to reveal the baby to the wolf once again. Its ears perk up, tail beginning to wag.

It shuffles forward, pausing to look up at Tara, concerned it may scare her away again. She bites her lip, considering, before lowering her arms.

Annie's awake now, disturbed by the nighttime interruption, sleepy brown eyes staring up at the two of them.

She lets out a yawn, and the wolf immediately nudges forward to nose at her. The movement makes Tara flinch, and it draws back, waiting.

A hand on its head gives it the confirmation its been waiting for, and it finally gets to meet their newest packmember.

"Gentle," she warns, and if it could roll its eyes, it would. It's no fool, it knows the pup is fragile, weak and in need of protection. It's been trying all month! Its host has been so selfish, keeping it locked away. It needs to mark the pup as pack, so others know she's claimed.

Tara watches the beast nuzzle her daughter. She feels stupid now, seeing how careful it is with her. How could she have ever thought any part of Sam would hurt her daughter? Sam may doubt herself, but Tara never should.

She won't make that mistake again.

The wolf finishes scent marking Anika and moves on to Tara instead, taking her off guard.

"I smell just fine," she grumbles pushing the massive head away with one hand, the other cradling Annie in her lap.

It just grabs at her hand, catching it between teeth and weaving its tongue between her fingers.

"Gross."

[beautifulaestheticsanon]

C!Dream with choking and heat for reader and rut for Dream (A/B/O)

Already the first ask and we're getting intresting! Thank so much for this ask anon! Sorry if it's not as good as others, I'm still new to this. Enjoy~

Female reader

TW: Choking, heat/rut, A/B/O, breeding, knotting, Oral (f receiving), slight degradation, slight stomach bulge.

Minors DNI

This wasn't planned to happen.

It wasn't your fault that you triggered Dream's rut at the same time your heat started. Who were you to blame?

You weren't even aware of his heat, your mind was to busy focusing on trying to pleasure yourself. Your hands were past your pants and underwear, circling your clit for some sort of relief to the burning heat of your body. Waiting patiently for your oh so loving mate to come and help with you cycle.

There was a sudden bang at the door, followed by it opening to the sight of Dream, panting and sweating with his face flushed red.

You, however, ignore this and take your hand out from your clothing, motioning a grabby motion for him to join you on the bed. "Dream, please! I need you," you cried out, "Need you to breed me!" He joins you on the bed, lifting your shirt off your overheating body. "I know, I need you to my little Omega. I'll make sure you're treated well, I promise."

He rips off his clothes, his cock throbbing to get inside you. He pulls down your pants and underwear, throwing them across to the otherside of the room. He stares at your glistening pussy; it was dripping with need, ready to take whatever he had planned to do to you.

He wastes no time diving into your cunt and starts licking a few long stips up your entrance. He sucks on your bud before replacing it with his thumb. He starts to go at your entrance, sticking his tongue in and exploring every inch that he could so you could be open for his dick.

You were close, so so close, but just before you came he pulled away. "Want you to cum with me." He was desperate to feel you around him: clenching and squeezing him dry. Hr lines up to your cunt and looks at you for a sign of permission. You nod in desperation and make a sharp gasp as he enters you, immediately starts pounding away at your pussy.

"Fuck, so tight! Feels so good little Omega! My sweet little slut. Yea, you like being my cock slut? Huh?" You nod wordlessly, already starting to go cock drunk with how good he was pounding you. You moan and squeal, begging out unintelligible words of want and need.

"Please Alpha, please breed! I want your knot in me! Want to be full with your pups!"

"Don't worry little Omega, I got you. You're ok." The sounds of skin against skin were echoing across the room. Pleasured tears prick your eyes. You look slightly down to see Dream's cock sliding in and out of you. "No no, look at me." He grabs your neck and starts squeezing it to make sure you pay attention to him.

You were getting close again, this time he wasn't stopping. In fact he was just as close as you were. His thrusts became more sloppy and erratic, the knot starting to inflate and pushing up against you while his hand still had a hold of your throat. "You gonna come with me?" You nod once, to drunk on pleasure to say anything anymore.

His other hand slides up to your stomach, a slight bulge was present as he continued to thrust up into you. He presses down which caused you to cum hard. God, was it intense. Your eyes were blown wide as your body squirmed from the slight overstimulation from his thrusts. He follows shortly after, the knot catching onto your hole as he fills you to the brim.

He kisses your cheek, petting your hair as he continues to fill you up. "You did so well little Omega, took me so well. Bet you feel so full." He waits for the knot to deflate before he pulls out, laying down beside you as he continues to pet your head. Your eyes start to close, and he notices. "It's ok Omega. You can go to bed. I'll be here when you wake up, I'll be with you for the rest of the week. Don't worry." With the reassurance, your eyes close as you drift off. The last thing you hear is your Alpha whispering small praises to you.

[aisuru-skinny]

Things from recovery that have made my relapse less miserable

✨I AM IN NO WAY PROMOTING 3D OR ENCOURAGING RELAPSE. I AM VERY MUCH PRO RECOVERY AND WOULD NEVER WISH THIS ON ANYONE✨

But considering I'm currently in relapse and it's a mental disorder and I can't stop any of you, let alone myself, remember to take care of yourselves

🍒 Intuitive Eating - This is probably 85% responsible for my relapse because practicing intuitive eating, I ate every time I was hungry BUT I didn't allow myself to overeat either and I didn't keep eating if I felt like I had too much. I just wanted till I got hungry again. This was like some crazy proof that you can have self control and don't have to binge. If you felt like you messed up with one meal, don't just keep wrecking yourself. Choose that moment to reset IMMEDIATELY instead of telling yourself you'll do it later or if you can have 1 more binge. I used to go in cycles of ���vation and then binge for a day to a point where I knew I couldn't fill myself up more but kept going anyway. I haven't had what I would consider a full blown binge in almost 5 months because I know I have control (granted I have overeaten a few times but I don't let myself continue to spiral)

🍒Keto Diet - When we were trying to figure out why everything I eat makes me sick, a keto diet was also test trialed to see if I had a carbohydrate intolerance and the take away from this is that guYS FRUIT HAS SO MANY CARBS it's literally natural sugar that gets converted to carbs and you're weight can just pack back on. I'm not saying don't eat fruit, please do!!! But you have GOT to balance it out with protein and veggies. Having a more savory breakfast, if I eat that morning, makes me last through the day longer than something with fruit or just letting all my meals be fruit. If I do eat fruit, it's a small portion snack or like a little apple sauce pouch situation (there are these things I get called Gutzys and they're just fruit and greens purees with probiotics and 1 pouch is less than 100 cals and they're super filling. I also find if I eat them super quick it helps fill me up and feel a little sick so I don't keep eating after having one.)

🍒 Supplements - PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING. TAKE SUPPLEMENTS. I take hair, skin, and nails to maintain biotin levels as well as probiotics because my digestive system is clinically wrecked. And as much as y'all are gonna hate this one, I also drink fiber. It really helps keep things moving and can debloat you too by keeping movement. I've also heard magnesium can help with sleep and bloating but I personally didn't have a difference taking it. Every body reacts differently.

🍒Cycle Syncing - For those of us still on a menstrual cycle, there's something to be said about cycle syncing and remembering that our bodies do go through change every month (ugh). The closer I get to my period, the more bloating I deal with and also find my digestive system is more sensitive. Love Wellness Bye Bye Bloat pills actually really help with the hormonal bloating and I also find this time in my cycle is typically a good excuse for liquid fasting. Bone broths, miso, and diuretic/digestive teas (Dandelion Root/Ginger/Tumeric) are great. Magnesium levels can also drop a lot around this time and make us more susceptible to hunger and cravings, I find that making a low cal hot chocolate using ultra dark cocoa powder is the way to go. It can be slightly bitter to drink but babe get over it, you don't need added sugars. It helps replenish levels, can satisfy chocolate cravings, and the warm drink can help keep the digestive moving and reduce bloating.

🍒Spices - All I'll say, I got back into cooking and please guys. Use spices. Use salt, it has healthy minerals. I know we're not eating a lot but it doesn't have to taste like freaking cardboard. I never count calories in spices because it's slim to none anyways. If I didn't season my food, I'd probably be more wanting to cave and binge because the food is so bland I'm looking for something more tasteful to eat. Season your food, eat what little of it you want, you're satisfied and won't go looking for less boring food.

Remember to take care of yourselves 🩷

[catsnuggler]

Left a job in 2018 because it was awful and there was no point. Tried to get another job. Got some interviews, nearly got hired, nearly got a really good job - but didn't. Wasn't hired. Got depressed between summer 2019 and beginning of 2020. Started to get a spring back in my step - but the virus came, and it's still around, even now, even as people pretend it isn't. By later 2022, I started, a bit, to apply again. A bit. But I was afraid. But I applied. Well, I had a gap. A gap which, judging by how I wasn't hired, meant I wasn't hireable, because I had a gap. Therefore, I had a longer gap. Which meant I wasn't hired by someone else. Which meant a longer gap... then I got into this apprenticeship. Got one fucking week at a shop, without prior training, then fired. Waited. Twiddled my thumbs. I was told they'd work this out, you see. And they're a union, so they're supposed to have a worker's back, right? Only overheard, but the cowards didn't say this to my face, earlier this week, that they're going to kick me out. I'm "a good, smart kid" but have "no mechanical aptitude". What does that mean? Means I've been waiting for months for nothing, all the while technically being in the apprenticeship, technically, just waiting for them to get me back into the thick of things, when they never planned to. Which means I haven't had a job, even though, on paper, this was supposed to be a full-time apprenticeship, with only minimal time between assignments to different shops and such. So I've really just been back in the gap, and this single week of work I had earlier this year doesn't really make me look good - even though it's the fault of the union not standing up for me the way they're supposed to, and the shop fucking me over. So if you don't count February, it's like I have a 6 year gap between my first job and now. And guess what? I won't get hired because I have a gap, and the tautological cycle will continue.

I hope the case manager who my counselor contacted will help me get a job, if I can't get one on my own... which, at this rate, does seem unlikely. Just because I'm not given a chance, because people expect me to know everything when I make clear from the get-go that I don't, which doesn't mean I'll never learn, but teach me for gods' sakes -

I hate this.

[goldenworldsabound]

Word Find Game...TWO

Rules: search for the given words in your WIP(s). If you don't have a word, you can use a variation on it or a word with a similar meaning. Then choose new words for the people you tag to look for in their WIP(s).

BONUS TAG FROM @kylilah!!! My beloved friend

WORDS: time, hands, gaze, heart, serene

Since this is the second time I'll be skipping tag but eee excited

S6

Tdp s6 companion fic...mega angst lol

"It's...complicated." He offered up a weak smile, which Wendy matched, the strain on their face clear. But at the same time, he saw some sort of relief in their gaze. They wanted to know, but they didn't. It was a mercy not to tell them, even as he desired to unburden himself on them as he always had. That was a cycle he needed to break. "Why aren't you wearing your pendant?"

Wendy looked surprised, turning their hand palm up, the chain shifting and sliding across it as they stared down.

"It's complicated," they replied, with a small smile.

Viren chuckled softly. "I suppose that's fair."

"I'm glad you see reason," Wendy's smile was growing, expression soft.

"You were always good at making me see it."

Their smile fell, and Viren knew he had said something wrong.

"Except when it mattered most." Their voice was a whisper.

Pouty

old Rufus fic when I was still exploring the dynamic and his character!

Rufus stood behind the couch, grumbling and sighing heavily. He tapped his fingers on the back of it, sneaking a glance to see if Aura was paying attention to his antics. She wasn't, of course. She was glued to the television screen. He repeated the performance, sighing extra loud to get her attention. When she continued to not notice, he scowled, growing annoyed.

"Are you just going to ignore me forever?" Rufus snapped.

"What? Hang on, I'm just about done with this battle-"

"No! No hanging on." Rufus grabbed the controller out of her hands, but not before Aura could frantically smash the pause button.

"Rufus!" Aura whined, turning around on the couch and shifting such that she was now kneeling on the cushions, her hands gripping the back of it. "What are you- why?" She frowned at him.

"Because you've been ignoring me, Aura!" Rufus snapped back, putting a hand to his forehead and sighing. "I've been standing here sighing for, oh I don't know, five minutes? And you didn't even react at all!"

Read To Me

Healen fic in the og RufAura timeline

"It was at that moment that the group realized," Aura paused for dramatic effect, eyes focused on the book in their hand, "that while they had won this battle, the war was far from over." They lowered the book, gaze going to Rufus, who's head was resting in her lap as she sat propped up in bed against the wall.

"...that's the end of the chapter?" Rufus asked, sounding unimpressed. He raised his brows in disbelief.

Aura laughed, the hand that had been stroking his soft blonde locks shifting to ruffle them affectionately instead. "It's a little dramatic, but we can allow the author that, can't we?"

"Well, we could, if they weren't so overly fond of such quips to begin with." Rufus clicked his tongue, before smiling wryly up at Aura.

Welcome To S

Ainosuke x Aura chapterrr

"...oh." Langa hung his head a little. "This is Void-"

"I got that much!" Reki squawked indignantly.

"-and she used to ski, so I thought maybe she should try rollerskates instead of a board!"

"...is that even allowed?" Reki murmured, frowning.

"Um, Langa?" Aura smiled weakly at him.

"Hm?"

A place you can be yourself. It was worth a shot, at least.

"<I'm actually, um, nonbinary, so I use they/them pronouns>," they explained softly, their heart pounding.

"<Nonbinary...>" His eyes clearly said how cool he thought that was, sparkling full force again.

"What?" Reki interjected, looking between the two of them.

"Reki, Void is...mm...I don't know how to say that word." Langa looked put out.

"Not a boy, not a girl, not something in between," Aura said, shrugging at Reki.

"Oh. Yeah. Nonbinary. Cool. Well, welcome to S, though I'll admit, I'm a little bit baffled by how you ended up here without even knowing it was for skateboarding." Reki looked at them dubiously.

AC

the fic I planned as a companion piece for RufAura during the events of Advent Children.

"You will go to Edge. Take Darkstar with you, and hide yourselves." Rufus said calmly. Reno made a quiet sound of surprise, Rude's brows twitching a fraction.

"Rufus, I- what do you mean?" Aura kept their breathing calm as they stared at Rufus, who looked slightly past them.

"I mean now. You will be safe there."

It clicked then. Aura's hands balled into fists, expression hardening into a frown.

"I will not." She stared him down. He met her gaze finally, surprise evident in his wide eyes and slightly open mouth. He recovered quickly, his own expression mirroring hers.

"You will-"

"I won't!" Aura interrupted, stomping one foot on the ground angrily. "Kadaj is dangerous. Something could happen to you! I-"

"That's why you need to go." Rufus interrupted, frustration edging into his voice. He could see the outcome of her staying easy enough. "If he figures out how much you mean to me, I-" he paused, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself. His voice was quiet again when he continued. "All will be lost."

Kadaj would kidnap her. With Aura in his hands, Rufus would be forced to comply. The mere thought of Kadaj and his gang getting hold of her, hurting her...he knew he would cave immediately. He couldn't play the game with her life on the line. Not her.

[suzdoinco]

Hello!!!

Today I wanted to post something about me and my wardrobe, I think is clear because of this coord that...I'm wearing a replica!!!! hall of SHAME for me, honestly. That's everything I could afford at a time where I wanted to dress the way I do now but I had other priorities, a.k.a my toy collection, but now that j-fashion is my main priority I've been spending on brand pieces and slowly but surely constructing a new wardrobe with pieces that do not harm what I love which is lolita fashion. Currently, I own a whopping amount of 5 (five) brand pieces!! I know it's little, but this year is the year that I've been focusing the most on building a wardrobe with actual pieces, and not just a "meh, I like it and it's whatever" thing. I'm actually putting effort and investing now.

Thankfully, now I own more brand pieces than replicas, including BTSSB, Emily Temple and Cornet (which was my first lolita piece actually! back in 2018 when I was 15, I've been exploring jfashion since my teenage years but not taking it seriously until now, I guess you could still say im a novice lolita) most of them bought second hand including the replicas, actually the one I'm wearing in this picture I got from Facebook marketplace and what I can say about this specific piece is that quality is clearly not the best, I'd put it almost paring with my bodyline pieces but at a lower level, and the construction....you can't see from this pic but the heart, does not look like a heart at all!!!

What am I going to do with these pieces? Well, they're still clothes at the end of the day and I'm still looking to get the real deal, that would be BTSSB heart apron in sax and BTSSB Millefeuille JSK in sax too (That one is way better constructed than the heart "apron" replica, which is not an apron in any way but a full on JSK) I will wear them in the meantime, but once I get the authentic pieces I will recycle them or just say goodbye, there is no resale value for them and I don't want to continue the cycle of replicas floating around, and I also love sewing. So, I'll probably make new things out of what I already have.

The only positive thing about having these dresses that I can say is that it was like a testing stage for me to see if I actually liked how these pieces looked on me, I loved 2 and ended disliking one which is my babydoll replica, I know now that I don't like how that JSK fits on me and for a black and white piece I will rather go for the lace frill jsk or cul de paris jsk, both currently on my ISO list. For the millefeuille and heart apron, if I felt pretty wearing a shitty replica I know I will feel like a real life princess once I get the nicely constructed real pieces, and once I get them it's time to say goodbye to my old versach-universal studios lolita pieces.

It's hard to build a wardrobe on such a tight budget like mine, and now I'm saving up for a Vivienne Westwood bag, and that is not friendly for my pocket at all, but I know at the end of the day it's going to be totally worth it to invest in genuine clothes, the key for me is going to be: patience.

The coord pictured is all offbrand except for the OTKS which are bodyline.

Thanks for reading!

[the1975attheirverybest]

Hello I was summoned? Gosh I did just wake up from a nap fair warning.

So by all accounts the tour Is selling pretty damn well, I don't think people realise how ticket prices nd tour prices are done. So, let me give you the lowdown

(This is all based on work I did with my music business performance and tech qualification in college *the bit before uni for americans* and reseach and continued work so take that into account)

When a tour is arranged they consider a few things.

Costs, obviously they have to look at the cost of the tour and make sure they have more money than that by a bit to have emergency and contingency funds. This includes stuff like work visas, venues, set, staff. All of that is considered

Breaking even, most tours are only really concerned with minimally breaking even or making their money back. To do that most tours set their break even point FAR BELOW the max ticket sales. To ensure they don't lose money, they try to set it around half (give or take a quarter either side) so they don't have to charge too much while still making money.

Profit, so this, once you hit that break even point provided you don't have costs you don't have to front or invoices you still have to pay everything beyond it us profit. Profit is also generated through online interactions, merch sales (like the 10th ani. Which is why I'd wager it was so expensive)

Contingency, so this is money you usually leave to the side at the start but I don't trust Jamie so we are gonna assume that actually he'd take his contingency from the profits. I don't actually knwo who the tour manager is this time so I'm running on the assumption it's the company. But even then most of the time contingency doesn't get spent. Its just in case money. For any surprise costs.

These are the very very basics we need to talk about in regards to the 1975 tour.

First, it's their first proper stadium tour in a while. At least outside the UK. So it's not expected to sell out. Especially not considering the recent controversies the boys have been through. So one could argue the tour Is selling really well considering.

Second, they've chosen their areas for a reason. When your doing an expensive theatrical stadium tour you need to consider the areas your going to and how much of that venue your actually gonna fill. There's no point booking the O2 if all your fans are in Scotland. And while I can't personally look at the sales statistics and their demographic statistics I'd reckon they've picked their spots wisely (look even idaho likes music) based those stats.

Third, it's really early in the tours life cycle, as in its not even in full swing yet. So most people won't be buying this far in advance if they aren't hard-core fans dying for a ticket. A lot of people wait until its closer to the time (mostly financial reasons and psychological reasons) so it's not fair to judge on how the sales are right this second (still good though) a lot of casuals buy tickets fairly close to shows (insane I know)

If the tour were going to be cancelled. It would have been by now. Unless something extreme happens its unlikely because the boys should have broken even by now and maybe made a small profit. There's other more complex stuff too but this is already a very long ask so I'll stop here

TL/DR I promise they don't need to sell out to break even or profit. They've been touring a while they know how many they average at live concerts and stadiums so they've likely taken the average amount of attendees for a concert and halved it for their break even point. They're smart. They've done this 10 years. Have a little faith in them. P.s most of the twitter people saying that legit just want to see the band fail or stay small and indie for them.

THANK YOOUUUU!!!! yeah I think the statement “this tour is failing” is your equivalent of saying “Beetlejuice” three times. Like if anyone says that, you materialize with info hahahaha

No, this is super, super helpful and informative! For someone who doesn’t know much about music or touring and is just going off of common sense and vibes, like I learned a lot from this!!!

Here y’all go. Twitter do be Twitter-ing which is a surprise to literally nobody. It’s the least thoughtful platform out there and not at all conducive to…like…facts or rational thought haha. Everybody say thank you Ambrose.